Surfacing
for Umahmad
The ducks caught your attention
As you strode to the lake shore, bubbling angry energy.
It was like they caught each strife and slowly turned them into grace.
The breeze hit our faces, all the ducks looked only to you
and you sat down, while I slipped bread into your hand.
“Feed them. They are always hungry. They will be yours for a sunset.”
Breaking off little portions, you threw them methodically, trying to be fair,
while I laid on your knee and counted Texas cotton balls stitched to blue sky.
There was that incredible moment of lucidity, when you were just normal,
shining seconds everyone hopes for in your life, but hardly ever sees.
I knew I was in the eye of the miracle when you turned to look at me,
“I’m so sorry if I have caused you pain. There is something going on inside
of me but I feel soon, I will be myself again”
The clouds held my gaze, while I held my breath
You held my head propped and melded to your leg like an after -thought,
like Siamese twins joined by the knee and head,
something so rare, a picture would be in order, if we had brought a camera.
I said thank you to that Messenger that spoke out of your lips…
and let my tears flow into the lake, some blessed ducks called home.
Karima Hoisan
July 17, 2010
Lake Arlington Texas
*Preface My soulmate, Umahmad, was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia in 2007.
She was only in her 30’s, we were living in Jordan and it progressed quickly. She had made applications for her and her 4 children to be refugees in Texas, before she became gravely ill. Her prayers were answered in 2010, but she was almost not lucid enough to even know where she was going, yet she left Jordan with 4 young children (the oldest was maybe 19, to start a new life.
The children asked me to please come to Texas where they were relocated and help them with English and ..well everything. I did and in the 4 months I was there with them, I only saw her lucid one time.. where she knew who I was…who she was. This moment you just read…I tried to capture in the poem.
Digital Rabbit Hole 
So lovely and poignant and true. The depth of feeling conveyed by simple words… The blessed ducks. So moving! Thank you for sharing this.
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You’re very welcome Dale..since I have posted many poems for her, written earlier, I thought this might help to see the larger picture. Her illness made her runaway, but that was three years before we had any idea..what had happened to her.
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Wow, so powerful, elegant, and beautiful, Karima. Just lovely.❤️
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Thank you so much Jeff! Hers was a powerful story and I was lucky to intertwine my destiny with hers for many years. before and after her illness stole her from us. Thank you my dear friend for your sincere comment.🙏❤️🌺
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Nothing is more real than life, and you capture yours with stunning grace and precision.
May I ask if you are still in touch with her children?
-David
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Yes David..we are. They all have made lives in the US and the two girls are married with 5 children between them. Umahamad, sad to say, never met her grandchildren. the two boys working and making it. They all turned out so well. I am struck with the parallel of Moses leading the Israelites to the promised land. They entered, but Moses never did. Umahmad kept thinking she was back in Iraq and the war was over. She had no idea, she accomplished what she worked years to do..provide a better life for her children. Excuse me for calling you ben..of course I should have known you are the son of Alexander, like we say in Arabic, Ibn Hussein. They refer to me as their second mother. I love them dearly. When she passed away in 2012, I was with them all at the end of her days.It’s something we share, a very strong bond that holds us close. Thank you for asking.
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That’s really lovely! I’m happy for you all that you have one another 🙂
It’s a very moving story, Karima.
Sincerely,
David
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Just to add a footnote..We have not seen each other for many years..as I live in Costa Rica, but post Covid, we hope to have a reunion there in Texas. Inshallah.🙏
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Such a heartwarming post, Karima. Couldn’t resist leaving my comments. Your bond was indeed eternal. Life is so beautiful when you meet that one person who makes everything seem so much more worth living for. I felt that in your post. May her soul rest in peace. Stay blessed my dear…❤️❤️🙏🙏💐💐💐🤗🤗🤗
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Awww thank you dear heart and was a surprise to see your comment here..but a very nice one indeed.. I hope you are resting and having many moments of peace in your time off.. I look forward to see what you bring with you, your thoughts that you have collected on your vacation:) I can’t wait to see your newest postcards,fresh from your break:) Big Hugss and enjoy your time,.Diana, I feel your words and wishes so sincere and beautiful:) ❤️❤️❤️
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Aww.. Thank you Habibti 💖💖… I have alot of love, hope and inspiration coming next week…. Can’t wait to share them with you all. My passion is writing. Even during my rest time. Probably it helps me rest more.. 😉😉🙂.. I pop in to WordPress time to time to check on my favorite people.. 🤗. I love that you and I connect on Hope love and life in so many ways. Stay blessed dear one.❤️❤️🤗💖🌹
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Sometimes admiring your poetry seems cruel, Karima. ‘Cause that makes me feel I’m ignoring the underlying circumstances that gave birth to it. The words are so beautiful, I almost feel guilty of satiating my senses when what inspired them might have been emotionally draining for you. It was amazing, as usual, dear. Something that can push forth such beauty from inside of you to a page deserves a lot of love and respect. I see all that’s beautiful in the world in this piece, Karima, when you felt loved, and exhaled love. God bless you… and all you love. 🙂
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Sundaram, you read me on a level that…well it’s your very own level…sensitive, thoughtful, and deep. Poetry saves me from much of the pain..It always has. It converts tears, stress and emotional pain, into something else…quite the opposite!…into words, that sometimes can touch such souls as yours. Poetry is the most magical of alchemy.. Thank you for reading it and loving it…you have no idea how that touches me!! Bless you too my friend and your noble heart. I am so honored to have met you! ❤️🤗
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Me too, dear Karima… and yes, poetry sure is alchemy. I will dive in guilt-free going forward, then…:))
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Another sneak peek into your eternal story of love and empathy.. Just beautiful. I literally have no words where should I start, that lucid moment when I read where she tells you to forgive you if she caused any pain and then to learn that this time she was suffering from that dreadful disease is soo heartbreaking and painful. You are such a kind soul Karima. Love and hugs❤️❤️🤗🤗🤗
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Awww habeebity…yes it is a vignette from our history..actually the only poem I wrote while staying with her that time…because it was just so hard to see her this way. This is a disease that is so sad and difficult, it steals the person you loved and leaves someone else in their body..someone, who at times, doesn’t know why you are even there. She used to say, “Why are you here? Go back to your own land”:( So that moment at the lake, was like a healing salve put on a bleeding wound. It made all those months worth it.. Hugs you tight. I know you can understand..Thank you for your caring heart! 🙏❤️🤗❤️
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It really must have been habeebity ❤️ it is your kindness and selfless love for her to take care of her and her children that way, otherwise it’s difficult in this selfish world to find such a kind hearted being which you are, UmJulian🤗 And that moment Allah made all your efforts worth as you will cherish it whole your life. Hugs and love to you too dearest ❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️
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Shokran gazeelan UmAnzar:):) Yes for me that moment was a great gift from Allah.. unexpected as it was so welcome. You are right habeebity, this is a moment that will live with me always! Thank you for caring and for allowing me to share with you….❤️❤️❤️
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🥰🤗❤️❤️❤️
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such a beautiful story! Loved reading it.
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Ohh thank you so much…it was the moment of a miracle..it just lasted a minute but was so unexpected and healing! I am glad you think I captured it!
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I remember this scene at the time it happened Karima. I was very touched by it as I have told you before. Even more so now with the lovely view you have painted with these articulate words. To repeat myself…A hard backed collection of all your works would be a gift to the world!🙏🏼
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Ohh Hoyt, yes you knew about the incident but I never posted what I wrote about it until now, years later.. Thank you for being close in those very hard times between 2010 and 2012. As far as my hard backed collection, we need a publisher for that hehe… If you can find me one…well I would not protest:) ❤️🤗🙏
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Fabulous blog
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Thank you so much Rajani..I am glad you are enjoying what you have seen:)
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Please read my post
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I have read 3 now and enjoyed them very much. If you have a specific one, you would like me to read, please leave the url in a comment:)
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You’ve expressed that lucid moment so profoundly…it felt as if I were there observing you & your soulmate – Umahmad…painful, sad & beautiful at the same time…the flow of love…the soul is love…you tried everything to help her & her loving children…you became their support & strength…when you were feeling shaky & vulnerable…the power of love eternal soul…oneness…Karima, I know Umahmad is resting peacefully & looking at you with pure love…peacefully…thank you very much for sharing your heart with us…
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Thank you my friend,the “flow of love…the soul is love…” I love this line…it’s poetry to my ears..and how quickly you recognized the very special relationship she and I shared..Yes, of the soul,coming from the soul, like a direct line that does not need to pass through bodies, hangups and fear..I was blessed to live this, know this, share her incredible and difficult journey…Alhamdulillah for everything..How clearly you saw into this piece… Thank you Navin..for seeing so easily into my heart…
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It’s my pleasure dear Karima…your heartfelt piece touched me deeply…I’m speechless whenever I think of it…much love
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Thank you dear poet…you honor me:)
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