Everyone tells me
to stand up on my feet…
My pale face and dark cloud space
is bringing them down to blue
Oops!…did I get some on you?
Well…I’m working on it..
I’m coming back from the dead
I’m pulling it together
I’m stapling my head
I can’t seem to push myself
out into the daylight
Into those colored moving shapes
way too bright…way too bright...
The night light talks to me;
It gallops over my walls so freely.
Pretty cotton candy ponies
rotate round and round
as I sit in the dark,
just about one foot under the ground.
Everyone says…
a month heals everything!
A broken heart, a world torn apart
in 30 days….
it’s back together again.
My life seems to work in a different way
Mine crawls in the cracks
flat-lines on its back
like a jelly fish, it wiggles on a dish
spineless, helpless, viscous,
without even realizing
how unappetizing… how uninviting.
Could stay in bed forever
Just watching my dreams.
Could never come downstairs again;
Who would notice? Who would even see?
I don’t feel like taking another breath
but this body keeps on making me.
The night light talks to me
It gallops over my walls so freely
Pretty cotton candy ponies
rotate round and round
as I sit in the dark,
just about one foot under the ground.
Karima Hoisan
October 24, 2021
Costa Rica
*Footnote….I am not in such a dark place at the moment..
my muse just went on the dark side a bit…it’s been a long time
since I let those horses run.
Digital Rabbit Hole 
This is achingly painful and beautiful at the same time. Healing takes as long as is needed. Time is less important. I love this poem, dear Karima. Sending you many hugs and much love. 🙏❤️🌷🤗
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Thank you Jeff..I was listening to some music and the beat encouraged this poem to flow..I really do feel much better than the poem..but I have been there…Thank you my dear friend, you have a big heart! ❤️
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You’re most welcome, Karima. Always. I’m glad to know you are feeling better. And, I completely understand. I’ve been there too. ☺️❤️
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Ohhhh way too bright! I know that place, too. People with their reassurances, the day with its colors… sometimes the dark is where one wants to be, or needs to be.
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Oh yes…you Do understand Dale…I too have been there…Alhamdulillah..I am not there now..but I have a long memory:) Thanks for this great comment ..as always
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So relatable to most of us at one time or another in our lives, I would think. Your muse sure knows how to put those feelings into beautiful words, too ❤
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Thank you Joey..I really appreciate your comment…but I have moved past this stage, Alhamdulillah, and can at least write about it.I know you understand the process and the feelings..Hugs! 🤗❤️
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Hon, this is so beautiful. It’s painful I know. Sending you lots of love. Take good care of yourself.
xoxo
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Thank you dear Gabriela.. I’m doing much better and at least I was able to write a poem. It’s been awhile. Thank you for all your support and your compassion….You are a rare gem. I’m so happy I met you!!🤗❤️🌹
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I’m really happy to read this poem and the footnote too. There are always bright sides of life, like the dark ones. But the life goes on with or without. I can feel the pain in the poem, but time is said to be healer. We draw inspiration from the past and move on. Bright side be always on you. Stay blessed. Sending much love to you 😊💐💖
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Thank you so much Kaushal for your beautiful words..I am now in a better place, but my muse wanted to remember this darker one. At least my muse “brought” me a poem..It has been forever since I wrote one it seems.. Thank you for all your kindness..You are a very special soul…🙏🤗❤️
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Hello my friend. What a lovely expressive piece sweetie. You are writing and that is wonderful. You know everyone grieves their own way. You have a right to do so. She was someone dear to you. They are probably just worried about you. No one knows how you feel except you. I love you sweetie. Be safe and keep writing if you can. It really helps me to process. Love, hugs and blessings to you. ❤️🤗🦋Joni
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Oh Joni, thank you for being so wonderful and supportive, even if I have not been lately.. I am better..I finished our unfinished project, “Drive” and people have been very positive and many have said I have honored Natascha by doing that. This makes me feel more satisfied. I am almost done building her Memorial World and I also believe if she can see it..she approves. So I am breathing easier, feeling that I have done what I can and letting her slowly rest in peace. On this world//she and her wonderful movies are everywhere.. It’s a great comfort…really..We were always virtual…and so…we still are:) Hugs and much love to you too, ❤️🤗🙏🌹
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You are a wonderful friend to have obviously. You have been so gracious, thoughtful,kind, and sharing her wonderful work to others. You have truly brought such love to her memory. Sending you my love and prayers your way Karima. ❤️🤗❤️Joni
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This was a great read :D. I enjoyed every bit of it,keep it up!😍
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Thank you Quranjavirus..was a bit of a downer, but glad yu enjoyed it:)
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This is so powerful. The images are strong. Sending you love, happiness, and sunshine! Take your time to deal with things in your own way and don’t be sorry for how much time it takes. Hoping you have a beautiful day!
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Oops Ben , so sorry, just seeing your comment! I think all that sunshine you sent me has brought me to quiet acceptance. I have honored her and I feel at peace for finishing her memorial… Thank you my friend for your tender positivity..❤️
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You’re welcome and it’s fine 🙂 You did an wonderful job of honoring! Glad you are finding peace 🙂 ❤️
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This is so beautiful. A moving description of trying to work through grief in a world that doesn’t want to give you the time and space.
I am so sorry for your loss and pain, and I hope that in time, you’ll find comfort.
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Thank you JYP..your words have touched me and also your gesture of reaching out to me, a stranger, and yet connecting for a second through poetry and showing me your compassion. That means a lot to me.
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