One day, back in August of 2008 we were sitting around a campfire on my ranch, each sharing what our most embarrassing moments were as new residents in our new world of SL. Later that night, I decided to write one out, that wasn’t about me, although believe me I had my share, but nothing as memorable as what I will now relate to you about a dear friend of mine, let’s call her S., who has authorized the re- telling of her plight and has given me final approval on this version, which I assure you is 100% true and accurate.
I personally found this incident so funny, I could hardly tell it the first week after it happened. I kept seeing it in mind’s eye and no matter how many times I ran it through, it didn’t lose its hysteria for me, so I could never finish telling it without giggling uncontrollably.
My friend was 2 days old, which for most of us becomes a vague remembrance.
We forget how that very noob quality even felt, especially if we have been here at least 6 months. We tend to forget how EVERYTHING was new. Well I was with her closely the first days because I had talked her into coming to SL, so I had a responsibility to help her in what I could. I assisted her in getting new skin (top of the list in importance as far as I’m concerned) and hair, a new outfit she picked out herself and just how to sit down, teleport, grab something, use a pose ball, the basics. Her final decision was to attach wings and be a fairy. I am not so into that but I figured why not? This IS SL. If she wants to be a fairy, who am I to say she shouldn’t?
Day 2 started off promising. She looked fantastic! Wings fluttering behind her sea- green and blue dress. She could walk very well now with her new AO, and looked like she had been here, so much longer than a day. All visible noobie traits were now not so easily visible. I decided to present her to my friends one at a time. The friend I chose was actually a neighbor on the Sim where I myself had first landed in SL, LINC Island. He was a great guy but rather reserved, and maybe his military background in RL helped to give him a straight upright and moral quality. I invited them both to my house where I had a little Arabic seating arrangement on the floor, individual cushions and plants all around. I thought it would be a nice ambiance to serve some tea, introduce her to my neighbor and just chat for awhile.
We all sat cross legged on the pillows facing each other in a tight circle. He had no trouble sitting down, but it took her a few seconds longer to sit rather than attempt to “take” the cushion, or “more” the cushion. She finally made the correct right click choice and sat.
I handed him his tea, one for her, and kept one for myself. To my surprise her tea seemed to be steaming more than all the others. The steam enveloped her and I could not even see the cup in her hand. It looked like that part of the living room had caught fire, and she was surrounded by smokey vapor, a cloud cover that covered her almost completely.
“Oh wow! What did you do? I don’t think that was the tea you found in your inventory. It’s in recent called ‘cup of tea’ just wear it and detach this other thing.”
I tried to be helpful.
“Oh I am not sure what I put on wait,” and she took another few seconds and then voila!! Her dress came off. Behind the steam I could see a medium-tan fairy in her bra and aquamarine pants. She had definitely detached the wrong thing.
“Ohh S. No! that is your dress. No.. put ON the dress. Wear the dress and take off the vapor, or the steam, I am not sure what it even is called, do you see anything like it? Detach it. Just Detach it and put on the dress!”
“I don’t see any dress, oh wait there I see pants”
“No NO you have your pants on…….oh too late.”
The pants came off.
If I did not know her as well as I did, I would have sworn she had worked this routine out just to shock us all. My neighbor was wordless, staring at her from a close distance of maybe 2 meters, drinking tea.
Thank God for the steam. She was down to bra and panties and I was trying to save the situation as best I could as she was definitely not helping it.
“S… just put it all back on. Just find the dress, it looks like a blouse or a cube and the pants, they look like pants, and put it all back on and detach the vapor cloud.”
My neighbor, silent as a sphinx, while her wings were fluttering behind her, slightly opaque in the haze,
“Ok S. last attempt to get dressed. You with me??”
Now I was starting to see how funny this was, and could hardly contain myself to write out the instructions ONE MORE TIME.
Her avi was so cute too, like a little angel, curly blonde hair and here she was stripping for an ex-Marine, who she had met 6 minutes before, while sitting cross legged, very cross legged behind her unnamed, unfound, apparently non- detachable smoke screen.
“Oh wait here it is I think!” S proudly exclaimed and we all held our breath.
Would her dress go on? Would her wings come off? Each of us lost in our own thoughts and fears. She didn’t fail us, and in the position she was sitting, in she was 100% certifiably pornographic!
My neighbor was sweet but horrified. Thank God for the vapor.
It hid the details, so now we could just imagine we were imagining we saw her cross-legged stark naked with wings incredibly still attached.
Then her famous last words, the great finale was,
“Oh I think I found it. I know now what it is called. I got it at freebie dungeon called ‘Hot Steam’ “
She had not,looked at herself, not being adept at camera use yet, and had no idea she was bra -less and panty-less only wings clinging to her, afraid they might be next.
“No! S. No don’t detach it. Just don’t touch it Just ……”
She detached the steam!
Ta Da it was the end of her act… a Really Big Finale as it was just so clear and in your face that it sent my neighbor to stand quickly and go home to turn off a roast he remembered he had in the oven.
S. still didn’t know what happened as she hadn’t learned to look at herself moving the camera position and when she did. well……
We laughed about it for 23 days..I would wake up in the middle of the night in RL and hear her say.
“OH I think I found it” and just laugh myself back to sleep again.
La Fortuna Costa Rica Sims SL
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
One little comment to share with you all.This is my 100th post on my website which I started in December of 2010. When I was talked into starting one, I said “I can’t imagine why I need a blog. I have no idea what I will write about.” Well I guess I did find something as this post marks my 100th attempt at describing life in our marvelous rabbit hole of virtual reality. Thank you all for making it so much fun, and inspiring me to keep finding new ideas for my posts. A special thanks to Happiness Merryman, who when I showed her this story, insisted I include it here.
Kari: This is one of the funniest experiences I have ever read, in SL or anywhere, but for any of us who have been through the learning curve (which goes on forever, I know) it is especially hilarious. I was laughing so hard I had to stop reading at moments. If there ever was a perfect storm of Things Going Wrong, this was it. And who among us has not known that moment of sheer horror when all one’s clothes come off in a very public place, place, among total strangers? And then scrambled to put something on, only to make it worse? I love the photo you included as well – it is perfect in its almost Art Deco delicacy, almost Erte in its discreet and yet sophisticated sweetness. I am so looking forward to reposting this masterpiece in my SECOND LIFE STORIES CyberBook, and then reposting again on the Shift Movement network, to let Friends there see how incredibly much fun it is, here on our Virtual Edge….. Bravo, Dear Lady, you have done all of us who were ever Noobies proud, and I still am one in so many ways… Bravissimo! And gales of deserved laughter…..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
hahahahaha Great story! Just like RL……stuff happens! I won’t retell my story. I could never face the public again. But…her story is legion! Just like Lucy in the choclate factory. It just gets worse…… So human. The strength here is her courage to retell it. People embrace that…being real….That is our real job here. Just to be real! I wanted to hold her and kiss her forehead and tell her things would turn out swell. Just like I would with my precious granddaughters.
Tri[plet 11 Y.O. Be afraid…….. :=)
Aww Tube, thank you again, and yes she is the wonderful kind that a few minutes later just laughed and laughed over it all..We about died there in the living room, steam gone, neighbor gone, and rolled and howled hysterically. Thank you for you nice words, and your compassionate gesture too,..Yes we have ALL been there:) This is a real life here too and we all blow it at times:)..which should make us quite forgiving of others too:)
Happiness thank you thank thank you, for your great comments, for talking me into putting it up, and for your support of my blog..which after 100 posts seems much more real to me today then it did last December. Really I laughed for years over this..It’s that great combination, of farce comedy, being played out in front, her total innocence in every way, and her really trying to be diligent and get it right.. oh my and then my neighbor who was so sweet and perfect as the straight man audience to this flowing comedy….Priceless!! Big hugs and thank you for this wonderful comment(made me laugh all over again with you!)
TEARS OF LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! For me, I cannot even say how many times I have heard or thought bout *this* story (and its been quite a few since it first happened in 2008 and was related to me post-haste, lol), but I CAN SAY that it makes me HOWL EVERY SINGLE TIME……hahahahahahahahaha. Seriously, I have a good heart and seldom laugh at the embarrassment of others, but the *’starring character* in this story took it so well herself that permission to HOWL was unequivocally, irreversibly granted and I most definitely have taken the liberty to LMAO many times. Maybe some day I shall think on this occurrence or read about it again and merely chuckle, but here I am 3 years hence and……….. I still bust a gut and have to wipe tears from laughinggggggggg! ”OH I think I found it”…. Ummm, no dearest, that’s MY funnybone and I’m gonna need that back, so ‘detach’ and……..HOWLS! Oh Sissy, your recantation of this event is priceless (still laughing!).
I know Sis..I too don’t usually laugh at the plight of others, but this was toooo funny. S was a great sport too and quickly moved out of that squeaky noob feeling, and became such a contributing creative part of Second Life. I loved your comment, made me laugh all over again.. hahaha “Ummm, no dearest, that’s MY funnybone and I’m gonna need that back, so ‘detach’ and……..HOWLS! ” That’s why when the three of us get together we are gasping for breath, from laughing way too much. If laughing keeps us living we have a reserve already to push us over 100 years.. So glad you enjoyed my dragging out this “ancient history” of our Second Life:)
Embarrasing newbie experience #1: Having just purchased (and very proud of) a crucial part of my male anatomy (what?? Linden Labs ooe’nt include it as part of my avie????!!!!) I got dressed to go to an important party that a very good new friend invited me to. I TPed to the party and was waking around saying hello and being very friendly when I finally found my friend. Immediately I got an IM from her and it came in all caps: “OMG RAG, YOUR FLY IS VERY DOWN!”.
Damn thing didnt come with ‘Auto hide’!
Ohhh my RAG that must have been quite the blush that rushed over your face…We live and learn just like real life..our virtual one holds some fond funny memories. Thanks for adding your own, story to the comments..New residents take heart…it Does happen to everyone…!!
Oh my gosh… I just laughed till I cried 😀 So sorry, S., we’re friends now (I’m humbled!) and I should be mortified, but this is just sooo funny! I guess we’ve all been there more or less, haven’t we? Cheers to you! And thank you Karima, for sending me the link to this precious little gem in dour times. Hugss!
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So glad you got to know the protagonist in this comedy, before you read it..LOL so glad you felt how funny it really was:):) Big Hugs… thank you for this wonderful comment and for dancing with the sissies yesterday too:):)
Oh it was all my pleasure :))
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Still in tears of LOL… and I’ve heard this one MULTIPLE times, including I think from the very day it happened! Honestly, I’ve never heard a noob story that tops it, though that could be because “S” (the Star of the show, lol) is one of the most humble and funny persons one could ever hope to know (smiles). Makes it easy to laugh WITH her. OMG, my gut is still bursting with laughter, hahahahaha. And laughing 23 days straight is no understatement, but at this point our knowing circle of friends can probably attest to laughing more than 2300 days!!! Every time someone in our SL family says “remember that time…”? – THIS story comes top of mind, laughsssssss. Trust me, we will treasure it til the end of days (LOL) with love and gratitude to our witty, humble, beautiful kindred soul, “S” 🙂
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Haha Diz….you again? lol your comment of 2011 had me laughing another 23 days..months…Sis Suze, was so innocentt and:) This is the iconic noob story made so much funnier because our sweet sis is who she is haha so sweet and beautiful abd totally unaware of what was happening haha and she was the cause of it :):) HUGS sis I will never ever forget this moment .. Love you both to the grave and beyond!! May we all float in Shinda holding hands or doing some great dances for eternity!!