Digital Rabbit Hole

                                       Photo by me, logo by Menubar Memorial

Please click to listen to me recite the poem to its music:)

Lone Rider

I’m looking for the song to find the words to start this poem
I have felt it wanting to come alive for days
but without the music the changes in the notes,
I know the words will hide themselves from me
leaving but a feeling that remains unexpressed.

How you marveled at my process,
that without music, I could not write a word..
Somehow the music frees the horses
from their paddocks and allows
them to gallop across the page..
and I am on top, the rider
with the melody flowing thru my mind
I am the singing cowboy of nostalgia
rhythmic hooves pounding out
every beat of my heart.

And to the music it does flow…

I know, none of us are ever -after.
Our songs end sometimes before
we’ve gotten to the bridge,
So I am left to remember you, as I wish to
and this is the one that breaks my heart
when I know I will never see you again.

Your many lives, your other selves
were never part of you and me,
I miss the one who rode tight by my side
through laughter and uncertainty,
the one who created magic so seamlessly
and brought joy to countless others,
we would never get to know or see.

As I set out alone, knowing I will never find
another to replace you…
knowing I am no longer two but one, on my own,
I miss that avatar, who brainstormed with me
and made it all look so smooth and easy,
That is the one that still haunts me in my dreams,
Natascha, you, my creative twin, now separated
from me and the living life… by death’s transparent veil.

Karima Hoisan
July 21, 2022
Costa Rica