April 18th

Posted on April 18, 2021 by Karima Hoisan
Hoisan Family Monument LINC Island SL

Hoisan Family Monument LINC Island SL

This post was first published in 2013.

My father died on April 18th, when I was twelve years old. This is the first poem I have ever written about that, and it is more than a few decades later. Every April since, I have felt like I might write something…and then I never do. It was time.
What does this have to do with Second Life? On my sim, LINC Island, I have made a family memorial and this is what is engraved on my father’s side. Through the wonders of our virtual world, I can lay flowers on his grave, even though I am thousands of miles away from where he is buried, and this year I will also place this poem.
Please take the time to click on the .mp3 link entitled April 18th by Karima Hoisan.mp3.
I composed the music for this too. Maybe enjoy is not the right word, but I hope you can feel this one, and I am sure some might even relate.

April 18th by Karima Hoisan.mp3

You once whispered this to me,
“We will have eternity,
so dry your tears,
and while you’re waiting,
live your life my daughter,
then come and talk to me.”

So much time has run behind,
my questions I had saved to ask
are not the ones, I had that day, when I was twelve
and you were lowered down into the ground.

But then you came to me in dreams,
You said, “Don’t touch me, I’m not yet real.”
“I hover here because you are so young
and I am sorry I could not stay to see you grow.”

So some days, I feel the bleak is calling out,
I feel tired of it all, and I miss you as if you’d died last night,
and eternity seems a long way off, an endless wait
and in some ways, I’m still that little bud too fragile.

Life has showered me with wild flowers
and  sometimes bathed my hopes in hopeless rain.
 An adult, I can still see the road that brought me here,
so I write new questions, I would like to ask you on that day.

Does a girl ever grow up, if her father is not there to see?
Is she not a tree in the forest of first love’s loss, falling and no one hears her?
and history shifts to what it was not going to be
and really, as I get older, it’s getting harder for me to wait to see you.

I try not to cry, when someone stands in front of me and says your name.
I know that it’s approaching, that time, when once again I’ll be your little girl.
I want to tell you my mistakes, what made me laugh and why I was still crying.
To sit upon your lap and then, Oh Daddy!
all the time in the world is what you promised me.

Karima Hoisan
April 14th, 2013
Rest In Peace, LINC Island

Posted in General Discussion, Poems, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 21 Comments

This Too Is An Act of Charity

Posted on April 17, 2021 by Karima Hoisan

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When you put down your phone a minute
and go to you grandmother’s room,
and sit in a chair close by her bed, and ask her,
“Gramma, tell me how it was, before?… before all the cars
and sickness and internet; tell me how you rode your horse everywhere
and there was fish in the sea for everyone?“
If you do that willingly… you will learn many new things
while being with her….and; this too is an act charity

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When you cut up papaya and lay out the bananas whole,
washing the boards so they don’t smell like squirrels…
and you leave the scene alone and wait for the first customer
and there he is, she is, they have been eating all day; they don’t need your food
and yet you offer something they love not growing on the vine or stalk right now,
a dessert, a soft banana or papaya pudding for babies to gobble up easily…
and you never expect them to pay you back … this too is an act of charity.

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When you walk in the streets, mask in place, keeping your distance
and you see people busy and people afraid to be out.
You come across such white faces, that never see the sun.
You pass by people breathing big sighs, just to be outside again…
and in all this hustle bustle, you choose a face, standing maybe in a doorway,
or you see a face waiting to cross the street and even with your own face hidden
by your mask, you give them the brightest smile, your eyes twinkle and curl
at the corners, until there is no doubt you are smiling at them, because their eyes  smile and crinkle back at you; even this is an act of charity.

Karima Hoisan
April 17th 2021 (Ramadan)
Costa Rica

 

*Footnote In Ramadan we are asked to consciously be more charitable.
“And, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Smiling in your brother’s face is an act of charity” (At-Tirmidhi; Declared Authentic by Al-Albani)

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The Lightness of Ramadan

Posted on April 14, 2021 by Karima Hoisan

Slide1

The Lightness of Ramadan

The lightness of Ramadan,
is like a gossamer blowing randomly in a breeze,
like walking on the moon, gravity barely touching me.
springing then floating with every step..and stopping
to just look and see, all that was missing,
when I was so caught up.
preparing eating, digesting,
that I couldn’t perceive the true aspects,
the colors and depth of anything around me.

Before breaking the fast, everyone is someone else..
Each of us, is changed,
some crankier, more impatient, some docile, some sleepier,
but I am lighter, a spiritual airhead transcending the afternoon.
Lighter, like the paper lanterns swinging in circles, from their strings
like the plastic bags in Jordan, blowing high in the air,
like circling black birds in the desert gusts, of those other-worldly afternoons.
Lighter, as if walking under water…without some mundane thoughts and weights,
I would float away.
Listening to the Quran being recited,
the chanting seems to come from within, and rumbles through me,
as I listen, as I stop to pray as I stop to just feel the day;
every moment is a moment of awareness, a moment of truth .
I am like almost nothing now,
just some thoughts enclosed in wispy feathers…
a spiritual bird who flies higher… the less it eats.

Karima Hoisan
April 14th, 2021 (Ramadan)
Costa Rica

Posted in Uncategorized | 20 Comments

My Poem, “Attitude,” On Spillwords Press

Posted on April 14, 2021 by Karima Hoisan

Screen Shot 2021-04-14 at 10.13.49 AM

I am once again very grateful to Spillwords Press for publishing my fourth poem,
“Attitude” on their site. I invite my readers to visit their site and read it there….
Attitude can be everything…can’t it?
Click the link to read “Attitude” on Spillwords Press

Posted in Announcements, General Discussion, Poems, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Ramadan Kareem! Ramadan Mubarak!

Posted on April 12, 2021 by Karima Hoisan

I am reposting this because it holds much nostalgia for me. Because of Covid,
this year, I will not be in Jordan with the family.
This picture was taken in 2007.
Ramadan begins tomorrow inshAllah.

Prayershot_001
Ramadan Gift (Triple Cinquain) 


<<*>>


As one

our family

breaking fast with prayers
  all kneeling in our living room
sublime

“Allah!”
my brother’s voice
now an angel chanting
tears blur my eyes in ecstasy
divine

Silence
our bodies speak
perfection in movement
heads press the floor in unity
Ameen

  Karima Hoisan
Jordan 2007

Posted in Poems, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 26 Comments

Indifference

Posted on April 12, 2021 by Karima Hoisan

Indifference: a dull blade, the petite agony, a paranoia trap, with spring latch

I’m not avoiding you; it’s not always about you, so lighten up.

I’m busy and first things first, then I just need some time to relax.

I’m not looking at you…why would I? I’m not even sure that we’ve met!

Indifference: a slap across the face with a silk glove

It’s a complex dance, with rigid steps moving backwards.
It’s an intricate dance with much movement from side to side.
Twirl your partner than walk away and forget who she is, another day.
You are the fish who doesn’t need to take the hook; swim away.

Indifference: To play it, you have to really feel it; It must live inside.

I’m not playing hard to get; I am hard to get, so that is that.

I think you’re OK, but I’m just not really interested in knowing you better.

I believe you are confusing me with someone who has a heart.

Indifference: Run away!…can bring tears, confusion and self doubts.

It’s a complex dance, with rigid steps moving backwards.
It’s an intricate dance with much movement from side to side.
Twirl your partner than walk away and forget who she is, another day.
You are the fish who doesn’t need to take the hook; swim away.

Karima Hoisan
April 12, 2021
Costa Rica

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Dark, Fluff & Snug

Posted on March 29, 2021 by Karima Hoisan

tree-branches-3drender-scene
Dark, fluff and snug are impressions in my memory.
Squished so tight, but all safe when the wild wind blows.
All the different songs, near and far; I wonder which one I will sing?
That fluffy weight above us, is a stopper for the raindrops;
It’s a warm shifting bulk, that keeps us from the sunlight.

This is my life, I’m sure there is not much more to it.
I am not alone, but in some ways I am totally on my own.
My head pushed down, I sleep in the essence of dirt and twigs,
the sounds of night, make me anxious for the new day’s light.

Then it happens, no longer blocked, I am starving, so I push up.
I stretch my neck as high as the sky above, we all outdo each other.
The morning bathes us as we open our mouths like choirboys, “Me! Me! Me!:
The heavy one is back, with worms for each; mine goes down just perfectly.

Please Click here to see:)
https://www.dropbox.com/s/ibhzn9gfo1k3w2a/babybirds.jpg?dl=0

Karima Hoisan
March 29, 2021
Costa Rica

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The Cold Road-A Song with Images

Posted on March 25, 2021 by Karima Hoisan

O.K.
I am really putting myself out here:)  as this is my singing debut on my blog, YouTube, The Universe. Be kind:)
From the moment I wrote this as lyrics on March 15th, I knew I had to sing it…but  well, I am not a singer, still I had to do it, in my own Garage Band style. I recorded my Yamaha piano on my iphone (smiles) so that set the feeling of an old timey, Bluegrass or Folksy Country Song. I recorded 3 voice parts and spent DAYS trying to balance and sync it. I added a string part I played in Garage Band and the sound of my mournful Toucans in the backyard. Images were from Google.
This, is as close as I can get I think..so I published it on YouTube for your listening(hopefully) pleasure. Crosses her fingers:)

Posted in Machinima, Poems, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 39 Comments

I Miss Violet

Posted on March 23, 2021 by Karima Hoisan

Violet at Wanderstill

I miss Violet…
the days of Violet..
when she roamed the streets and shops and forests,
the innocence of a brand new world,
building itself without a plan..
When all was new and the virtual world
was a looking glass that I fell into.
Violet fell in too.

Instead of mirroring who we were,
this looking glass
reflected who we could be,
who we wanted to be.
It was another kind of truth, the kind, not easily seen.
Violet knew.

She morphed into a subtle ray of grace,
was caring, loving, funny.
She stalked me, with interest,
and what I thought a coincidence
was her best shot.
Two random strangers on a bench
circled by butterflies, saying hello the first time;
Violet made this happen.

And then all the rest happened on its own,
for all was possible in this second life.
This life was shaped more by us, than fate
and yet, we realized our destiny was tied.
We changed our bodies, like costumes
and tried on everything.
I was still a poet,
Violet still an artist.

The best virtual years for me,
was when she was by my side.
My best friend, my love; we decorated Everything,
and how we danced!
Bogarts Ama dips Violet
We threw ourselves from planes, and landed in fields of flowers.
We were dreamers in tandem and lucid,
but one day she took off her costume,
the one that made her mine, then….
Violet,  was gone forever.

Karima Hoisan
March 23, 2021
Costa Rica

Posted in Poems | Tagged , , , , , | 25 Comments

The Cold Road (Lyrics)

Posted on March 15, 2021 by Karima Hoisan

Slide1

The Cold Road

You broke my heart, even though you didn’t want to.
I know you love me, just maybe not in ways that I do.
Without intention, you said some things that hurt me.
My heart is fragile, it comes apart too easily.

These are thoughts that come and go, when I walk down the Cold Road.
Without a heart to beat, each day for me, is just another heavy load.
The birds are calling out, because they’re about to fly away tomorrow;
Wish I’d be going with them, and find somewhere that’s kinder with less sorrow.

You think I’m needy and no longer stand up on my own,
No longer fun, am becoming one more burden you bemoan.
I don’t mean to add on, to all the eyes that watch you in your day,
I’d close mine forever, in the hope that you won’t up and go away.

I seem to be the last one, to know what you are thinking.
We are so different and I forget that when I’m sinking.
I feel bad now, that I didn’t see the truth or tried to hide it,
another foolish soul, blinded by love, that’s so one-sided.

These are thoughts that come and go, when I walk down the Cold Road.
Without a heart to beat, each day for me, is just another heavy load.
The birds are calling out, because they’re about to fly away tomorrow;
Wish I’d be going with them, and find somewhere that’s kinder with less sorrow.

Karima Hoisan
March 15, 2021
Costa Rica

Posted in Poems, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 7 Comments