I tried to reach out to you…
after so many years of silence,
of knowing we were both still alive
and yet we no longer talked.
It wasn’t even indifference, because,
well, I believed that that could never be,
and it wasn’t that we ended badly..
not at all; we both knew, it was time to leave.
We just slipped through each other’s lives
unconnected and invisibly.
Time marched on and we stayed tucked away
in a few scattered pictures and fading memories.
But I still relived those years,
sometimes on full moon nights
I heard you whistle from the pasture
riding your horse under a fluorescent sky.
So what a surprise when I called you
to tell you that I had dreamed of you
and to thank you, for all those years we lived
when we were young and made our own magic.
In this time of death and uncertainty,
I am doing that with everyone, who in one way
or the other was important to me;
I am thanking them for those precious memories.
You told me, “Well I don’t dream”
and then you added, “And I never remember the past”
“I live now in the moment, and don’t think of those days”
and you hung up with a quick “goodbye”
How sad to see my mistake…and how wrong was I…
You had forgotten totally, those silky full moon nights…
and that’s when I realized… you had already died,
that you were no longer alive.
January 15, 2021