Shot In The Head
I dreamed they shot me in the head, and I was not sure what that could mean,
Maybe… now all my optimistic poetic dreams, my fantasies, could finally leak out upon the floor,
And not be contained like stagnant water in a jar, already over flowing from useless hoping.
Was it my death or my release, when they put that revolver against my ear?
But when I heard the boom, I sang a warbler’s tune, and walked away unscathed.
I warbled and the most beautiful notes preceded me, surrounded me, and flowed out of me.
I felt a peaceful calm for my execution, an acceptance everything was the way it should be,
And afterwards I walked around, showing my wound for the entire world to see,
As if it were a gift just given, or a prize I’d won, or an honor newly bestowed upon me.
My one shot execution, became a singing celebration, where others rejoiced my good fortune,
For I was still alive, and I could even sing, with more feeling than before, reborn by this gunshot,
I opened door after door with only notes that rang out in my ears, washing all the unreal away.
While all the while, what never really was, still dripped from my clean small caliber bullet-hole.
I had smiles and trickling tears and euphoria lit my face in rose colored lighting.
I needed no words.
My sentence ended with my execution.
I awoke to a new day, where clean sheets replaced the soiled.
June 16, 2012
* one of my very few gunshot dreams…ever. Maybe because I am in Texas now and the N.R.A is strong? Any interpretations are most welcome🙂
I found this image on the web at a site that featured some works by Beau Stanton. He has some interestingly beautiful, some a bit disturbing art. You can find it here Art by Beau Stanton
I hope it represents the death of delusions and negativity. That would truly be an event to warble about.
Hi Steve, thanks for dropping by..Yes I think it too is something like blowing away the fantasy, and still finding something to sing about…as far as sharing my wound with the world…well poets are often disposed to do just that:)
Wow! Such a Drastically different philosophy of one being shot in the head. Fascinating piece which stirs the imagination, as all your works do. 🙂
Why thank you Spiral..Who knows who really directs our dreams? I too was a bit surprised how this one played out myself.
Well….that’s something. In my own experience, an act of seeming violence like this usually is about transformation. The death, or end of something is the new start of something else. It sounds to me it is about a new opening made in your thinking, or consciousness. A new path cleared. An opening not expected or planned. But some new pathway for your energy flow. Something you are exuberant about. So it’s related to a new concept coupled with creativity which is your medium. Think of it as a breakthru of some sort. You have discovered a whole new unexpected energy flow or force. The after effect was bright, hopeful, cheerful, optimistic and totally hopeful….but surprising. You will likely find a new medium or way of thinking related to your creative work. I’m guessing the violent aspect was simply to get your attention. An imaging device you wouldn’t overlook. Like the jolt you get from some fine cherry pie and good joe! (Twin Peaks/ Angelo Badelamenti soundtrack fades here). I’m thinking it’s all good here. Maybe unnerving….but still good. This stuff comes thru in times of high stress like a small gift to you. Deserved!
Tube I love this comment, your always right to the center vision of what things can mean..Yes I too agree with you, the shot in the head was my own inner self grabbing my attention, making me not be able to shrug it off or forget it when I awoke.. and yes as you say, “The death, or end of something is the new start of something else. ” I am watching and caring for someone who is really dying, and just my being here has give me more life..this is as honest as I can put it.. I will not try to steer anything in any direction..I feel hopeful all will be revealed when it is supposed to be..That is as much as we can ask of Life I think..and turning to read the last page before you get to it, can cloud up the ones left to read and ..live..I’m thinking that more goes on here than we could ever hope to understand, but accepting it all.. Everything as it comes, is a very wise way to live each day that we are gifted…In the end it’s all a gift…and we who are alive are all recipients..
Hi. I generally don’t reply to a reply. It looks way too much like grandstanding. But I will chance it. I think the take-a-away was supposed to be encouraging for you. Letting go of our loved ones here so they can travel to next world/next stepping is one of the hardest and most painful things we can do as humans. But the pain =growth. Understanding. Empathy. That was the point of management’s concept, I think. Yes, we are indeed supposed to learn how to accept the unacceptable. Learn to accept the pain that is too great to survive. Even the wreckage of a forest fire creates the ingredients for a whole new healthy growth of trees. I grew up in the foothills of Northern Colorado-just south of the current fires in Northern Colorado. I have seen so many dreadful fires become new growth in a few seasons. The charred turns into healty young Pines…Paper Bark trees…Aspens…etc. What was ugly and painful evolves into the new. That is life here on Earth. This is what is truly revealved. That life always evolves from chaos and destruction. That is the long view.It may not offer much comfort right now….but, it is a reality taking place. We cannot know what the master plan is. But we can do our part to make our little piece of it good. And be brave and love our friends when we have the opportunity to do so. And so you are…..
Be at Peace. You are loved!
Ohh Tube you can reply and reply, as I love that you share your deep intuitions here with us all..and as you can see in many comments, others enjoy them too. I really loved your closing thoughts here
“We cannot know what the master plan is. But we can do our part to make our little piece of it good. And be brave and love our friends when we have the opportunity to do so”
I say Ameen to that:) In the end I do think the big lesson we learn in our lifetimes is about the many shades of love…
Well Karima… i can relate to this powerful and mysterious poem.
We all carry a great burden of dense heaviness within ourselves, that must be cleared out if our True Light is to shine.
The incineration of the false within; the un-raveling of complex ego networks that keep us bound and trapped in a cage of our own creation, our eyes clouded by our own inner lies, illusions and fears… is essential.
After the smoke clears, the shot blasted open new passage ways for
the visceral sludge to drip out, releaving pressure, and creating cleared fresh open pure inner space….so that new layers of the vastness of Truth, and expansion of consciousness and Heart can be freed.
The dense stuff doesn’t leave voluntarily, and is well guarded by fears, and pain often too deep to allow to surface….and even if we are very good at changing the subject when the dark feelings and dense energies come close to the surface, or try to dismiss them, they cannot be escaped.
Sometimes it takes a “shot in the head” to , >>by Grace<<<, blast a passage way for them to leave us. To me, the shot was pure Grace. I think Grace is blessing you as you care for your friend.
Aww thank you Jan, and glad you stopped by to comment on this one..I think you are totally right too and like how you put it, that after the smoke clears, we see the new passageway blasted open…Yes I agree with everyone, in that it is a positive dream of new beginnings, and yes sometimes it takes nothing less than a shot in the head to make that”dense stuff” leave….a shot = pure Grace…wow:)
Hi Kari, it was good to chat with you today. Thank you for being the wonder that you are, for sharing your dream and for the link to your blog. Your friend Ron had some right on insights about that dream. Sending you all good wishes, lovely friend, for your strength of Spirit at this time.
Love and Light to you and yours, (you are indeed loved)~
Thank you so much Luna, first for a really great talk that lifted my spirits and also your commenting here..Tube (Ron) and Jan have been two of the most prolific comment writers since I began my blog..Both see so deeply and in a slightly different way the depth and profundity of Life and Humanity…They are mystics in their thinking and I always love to see what they see in my works.. Thank you again for your prayers and your warm friendship….
Wow Karima! I guess changing your loacation in real life does not affect your stunning creativity! As in all your works, this too seems to be multi-layered. It can be construed in many ways. I am impressed as always, by Tube Guy’s interpretation. “An end to something leads to a new beginning.” “A new pathway.” This theme seems to have appeared in other of your works when a certain innocent gazelle of the hills head explodes leaving dying dreams and debris. Leaving prayers of peace and hopes for love unheard. In this poem, we al least see a new day dawning. Many have dreams, not being on the receiving end of a bullet, but being the one administering the deadly projectile. Who suffers more in the long run? The recipient of the bullet or the one dispacthing the bullet? Your writing always makes us think and consider. Thank you for this. I miss you. Hoyt
Thank you Hoyt…yes you are right, I wasn’t thinking of Noor when I pondered the meaning of this dream..but it does have something to do with it..In her case, it sparked I’m sure,.. an entire nation as well as her village to strike against injustice..but here..it does feel like something old is leaking out and soon something new will replace it. So wonderful to hear from you..me haces falta también
Here I am…again. Hoyt raised it. Now it needs to be said. Noor. Poor Noor. She still figures front and center here, I think. Hoyt understands this because he and I have been similar places. M16s and screaming F-4Es and F16s and MiGs and Kalashnikov 47s cannot solve every problem. And death only makes for more chaos. More un-sureness. I know this is not a political arena. But, the outside ignorance underlays much of the violence we all have to deal with. And physical death cannot and will not ever kill an idea whose time has come. Peace. Negotiation. Noor was the hope of the future. Of peace; security. Of reason. The 8oo lb gorilla behind “Asking Why”. Why does the world tolerate the death of Noor? It should not. Ever. The why here is why the citizens of the world tolerate sociopathic and lunatic behavior. It should not. Whether it is Jesus…the Prophet Mohammed….Ghandi….or any other visionary. The message is always the same. Injustice and lunacy cannot be tolerated. Noor was the hope of the future. So is Karima. So is everyone else who tries to stop the insane machinery of insanity. Of imbalence. All will be overthrown and consumed by fire in some form. Thinking….feeling. This is all about simple right and wrong. Writers and artistic visionaries are here to clarify our thinking. They take the first risk. Now. those who can wrench changes…must. Feel. Think. Then, follow your conscience. Karima does. Just a thought.