For Second Life
When I arrived upon the shore of my salvation,
it was a full moon night and I landed by the sea.
There was a dolphin jumping and I could hear the waves as they crashed over me.
Is there a better metaphor for this our Second Life, than a looking glass or a rabbit hole that let us pass,
into a world we never could imagine, into a million possibilities?
Thousands of sims were fireflies of beckoning doors,
and there we stood, our key in hand, filled with awe and throbbing curiosity,
we entered them in hordes.
So now at almost five, I remember
like a remnant from a caravan or wagon train,
the trials and errors and the pain…
but here I am to say that I survived.
Some times I find it hard to think how very long I’ve been inside
and nostalgia with a conscience piques me more each day,
until I wonder if it’s wrong to stay.
I’m still here today, but now I feel the magic start to slip away.
There was a time I never saw the borders of my screen.
I was so deep inside, I lived here, and when I could,
I made my room surroundings disappear.
I loved and lost and that first time I cried I said, “Oh my” this is not a game!”
I wondered why they called it such,
then felt I should be more careful with those I touched.
Yet my innocence kept showing, as deeper I went in,
for all that I was seeing, was becoming part of me,
while I was forming the pieces of creation that others now could see…
like a miracle, like a prepschool for the afterlife, relating disembodied.
We were all demi god- creators, artists painting dreams.
Some were here to make a living, some pursued their fame,
and many turned into demi pawns for those who did not build a life,
but only came to play in -game.
I found myself with a Blues Club in New Toulouse 1920’s New Orleans.
I was still new enough to find each night had a rainbow lining
that titillated, rustling like my petticoats.
It moved me to feeling and to sensuality,
that’s when I felt it all became so much more real.
I could smell the floorboards, the dockside freighter’s rusty hulls,
and Tom Waits sang over the stream, while I danced with lovers,
those tangos, sexy number 4 cheek to cheek, and slow dance number 3.
I am so thankful for all of it, even the bad left some good lessons, and I grew,
even the teenager who I thought was 33, was still the best builder that I ever knew,
or the artist who stayed partnered less than a week with me,
but did leave a goodbye- gift, a pair of shiny robots standing by the creek.
Everything and everyone in the end, somehow landed happily ever-afterly.
Its all been good for me… the loss of innocence, the coming of my virtual age,
the sharing, collaborating and true caring.
There still are some songs, that can take my breath away,
even though my heart no longer speeds,
and I seldom lose my head or abandon all caution to an untried lover.
I have more shoes than Imelda Marcos, more houses and castles than a queen.
There are times I feel I have seen it all and danced every dance,
and had every kind of variation of romance.
Am I a jaded oldie who only lives in her memories of how it used to be?
Have I seen a full moon every night of my virtual life,
until it no longer means the same to me?
I remember when they laid the tracks down on the West Atoll,
that was just a year ago but we lagged and laughed in hopeful celebration.
Now the tracks sometimes lead nowhere, and the railroad line is looking bare,
I watch the sims and stores, dance bars and places I adored,
closing down around me.
People who I thought they really cared, vanish into smoke and are no longer there.
I spend too much time in solitude, lazy easy listening,
and readings of my poetry are far and few between.
I’m still here today, but now I feel the magic start to slip away.
LINC Island Misty Shores SL
* Footnote the expression “prep-school for the afterlife” was coined by my SL friend Knor Lane. I always give him credit because….well it’s such a great description:)
Well Karima, this one after the last one about losing your “way with Words”… and now feeling your magic slipping away. ( once again so elequently using your magical words to discribe your feeling of your magic slipping away) Mmm. Well, i happen to know you pretty well… and you are a sumptuously rich and multi talented, prolific creative soul… with a deep heart. And you share it with us so joyously! I see you are going through a transition, and what is in front of you is new terrain… ( U.’s passing has left a hole in it that was not there before, for one thing ) that has not defined itself. For an artist of any sort, there are these times of not knowing… where there is a block in our art’s flow. To me, i have learned that these are the magical times for an artist because we seem to not have anything to say (or paint)… we are open… for something new to come in. The unknown can be a magical mystery, or it can be terrifying. BUT… we learn to trust in our soul’s Path. We learn humility, and that we cannot order our Muse to come at our bidding, make us happy when we are sad, or entertain us when we are bored. It doesn’t work that way. You and i have had that conversation many times. I have been so deeply touched by your poetry… it has moved me to great sorrow, and to mad, fantastic heights… you give us your all, genuine and true. You are so courageous… your journey into the labyrinth of the human soul, and your sharing of it, is simply brilliant. Thank you!
Jan, thank you for your beautiful words, your gentle reminder of information that I do know but at times forget..I think you are probably very right in your analysis that I am in a time of transition, but I feel as long as I am able to write…I will write my way through it..and yes just stay open and pretty much in a state of surrender to what is coming next, but as did explain to a few people privately, this is not about my leaving SL. Oh no, I still find so much inspiration there daily and most of the people who are the closest to me are there too in SL. Of course I see the Times are changing, and yet I agree with a few I have talked with in SL that hopefully there will be one for a long time to come. I was just letting my thoughts drift to how it has changed for me personally and how I see it today..I was struck with virtual nostalgia I think, which pulled me along the tangent that wound up being my poem:) I am so glad you enjoyed it and thank you for being such a wise loving voice along my personal journey..Sl or otherwise:)
the magic exists between people, regardless of platform.
Oh so very true Crap…thank you for reminding me of that..and even if the magic feels waning at times, as if we went behind the scenes and discovered too much reality, the magic always returns on its own, because we have it in us now.. we seek that, and we stimulate it and bring it back..again and again..no matter, as you say, what platform we find ourselves on:)
Hi Kari: You have had some very rough bumps in the road these past few months, and it is not surprising that you are feeling a bit of letdown, which you express with typical eloquence. It seems that if nothing else, SL is a fantastic studio for you to illustrate your remarkable videos and poems, and a soul refuge. For all the beauty, creativity, and magic, there is the hard reality that SL itself is slipping, slipping away, as more and more people leave for more robust platforms, and to be able to do more at less expense. After all, the costs are prohibitive, and whether we like it or not, that is a factor that tends to mediate enthusiasm, and must be considered. Knowing you, you will no doubt reinvent yourself, in SL or elsewhere, but you will never, ever lose your aritstic and creative core, you will just take it somewhere else. We go through seasons, and this may just be a phase for you, but I know what you mean, even though I still thrill every time I come in world to do a photo shoot. What I do know is that your future is bright, your talents are deep, and you may just be inventing your next chapter, with or without SL. In any case, your brilliance will not be dimmed, and your horizons are infinite. That I do know! Love and blessings, AJN
Hi Alex, thank you so much for commenting, and I appreciate your confidence in me personally , and also your opinions on the future of virtuality..I do still have faith SL will continue on, but there are many other platforms (you know I am very much on Kitely too) that are out there..and as Mr.Mariner points out in the end it is about a special kind of person who lives in virtuality, and will create and share the magic wherever that might be:)
Your words in this one are very penetrating. They even sting some. I wish there was something I could say do or say. I know the feeling. Not so much in SL, but in the phase changing aspects of RL that one goes through if they are fortunate enough to have been given the gift of years. Something that we think is life-changing in one decade, becomes boring and silly in another. Or more well put, by your childhood friend E.A. Poe, “It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we will look upon our present existence, as a dream.”
Jan says it well, as she, like you understands the intricacies of being an artist and being blessed with genius. At times, like many others, I have wished to be a creator, an artist, a virtuoso like yourself, but I see from your great works that you also carry a burden, an albatross if you will. I guess one should be charmed by being given the gift of simplicity as well.
I trust that whether in SL or not, we will still be recipients of your graceful dance with words that remain peerless. Please know that I am, and will always be your biggest aficionado.
Thank you Hoyt for being one of the high points in my SL, and for many years too, besides being my “greatest aficionado” also being someone who truly has been steadfast in his support and belief in me..That, for me is priceless in any world..
There was a time I never saw the borders of my screen.” — What a great way to sum up how it was for many of us. It was a zeitgeist of sorts, and there were so many instances of artistic/creative impulses being rekindled or being born for the very first time. The particular medium may be losing its lustre, but lets hope that the creativity and friendship it inspired will continue on in whatever form they may take.
Ohh otter.. you stumbled over the broken floor boards a few times in my club in New Toulouse..Great times, but at any minute other great memories will, and are being made..Such is Life, virtual and the other boring kind too:) hehe Hugss
Hugs Karima, my most wonderful friend. It sounds like a lull, a quiet moment, with just a touch of nostalgia and melancholy… described as only you can. As our time passes, we don’t need SL to have those! ;o) Everyone echos your sentiment so eloquently… from Crap’s fundamental truth, to Alex’s “We go through Seasons”, to Hoyt’s “gift of simplicity” and the fascination with even our smallest treasures. Take heart, dear one, in the wonderful gift of self to you give to all of us. My heart, for one, rises and falls as I see you come and go. I know there are many many others who feel the same. Such a beautiful moment of reflection… treasure it sweetheart. Like the tide, it will leave as mysteriously as it arrived… and we all look forward to your “sumptuously rich” (thanks Jan!) description of that event! If those who were thinking of you at any given moment, were there with you… we would crash the sim, and it would never come back up. ;o)
Shesa what a beautiful comment and proof that people we meet inside, who become friends and stay friends, are definitely worth the price of the journey.. Thank you for your friendship, it was so easy to get to know you and the fact we share a minor *coughs Tukso addiction, put us on the same sim many times together, until one day we passed that illusionary frontier between acquaintances and became friends..Yes you are right, I’m sure this is a transitory pondering about our beloved virtual world..and yes it has changed, is changing, as the “Real World” is also doing, and all of this affects us, has its own dynamic. I laughed at your sim crash imagery..but it made me feel that connecting with people like you through poetry, has been a blessing, truly part of my personal “salvation” as I begin the poem saying.. ever grateful to SL for all of it, and the fact my muse sometimes goes a bit tragic while being prolific, is just one of those stages…I love how you use these wise quotes from the other comments people have chosen to make, to add to your own beautifully written reflections…Thank you for this my friend…:)
Pingback: Helium Moon | Digital Rabbit Hole
Pingback: Follow Me! ~An Ode to Code ~ The Movie by Natascha Randt & Karima Hoisan | Digital Rabbit Hole
Pingback: Going Around & Coming Around at the End of 2013 | Digital Rabbit Hole