Cousin Dan & I in Costa Rica 2017 at The Westin Hotel Guanacaste
Please Play My Spoken Word to my original Music, written for my Cousin Dan
Cousin Dan
Someone I love is dying
he wants to die,
at 94 he’s just so tired of living.
He’s the older brother I never had in my life
my beloved first cousin
who knew me since I was born.
A master of languages
he spoke seven and even today
fluently three or four.
I call him every week
and he tells me one of these calls
he will not answer.
And when we say goodbye
I say I will call you next week,
he tells me, “Oh sweetheart you better try!”
He says, they say he has a few months left
I say, no one really knows…
He says, “ Ah but I want to go,
I can no longer see, Life holds nothing more for me”
I say, “ Ok..then I want that for you too.”
But I will miss him more than words can tell him…
and he knows that’s true.
Karima Hoisan
(aka Donna Leviash)
May, 17th 2024
Costa Rica
*Footnote: Dan is my father’s nephew. He has made me proud, all my life, that I share our Ukranian blood and when I learned 2 more languages (Spanish & Arabic) He started calling me “A Super Leviash”:)Which he still does to this day:)
*A past post I wrote about him last year with many early pictures:)
https://karimahoisan.com/2023/04/09/our-fading-historian/
Digital Rabbit Hole 
Ach, so lovely and so poignant. You’ve each been lucky to know and love the other, clearly. He’s lucky to have you with him as the end approaches. And we’re lucky to have you sharing these feelings with us so beautifully. Thank you!
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Thank you so much Dale your beautiful comment touched me so. Working on the music yesterday, I felt it was for him…a soul attempting to take flight but not quite ready to fly away.. and of course I immediately knew who I was writing this for, subconciously. We were and still are very lucky to have each other. Every day is a gift, every weekly phone call:)
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the music & the poem are beautiful🥰💕all that you say is touching & REAL🦋🌹🦋u & ur cousin are rare & lovely souls🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️🥰
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Thank you my soulkin, the music came out in little vignettes and quite understated and the poem did too…So much more to say and yet, the essence is this:) and I think that’s fine too. Yes I was very lucky and he is the last perspn alive that remembers my father and has so many stories to tell about those days… Our fading historian, I once wrote here maybe I should put up that link:)
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yes, put up the link!❤️
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It’s up in the footnote soulkin:)
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A very beautiful poem for your cousin. I can imagine how he feels and also your feelings my friend.
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Thank you Sadje for listening..I actually played the music on speakers today and recited it to him on the phone. He said..”Yes..that’s right…it’s all true” Then he asked how I wrote the music:) He was pretty computer savy but he lost his eyesight I think 9 years ago or so.
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It is so heartfelt when you recite it.
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Thank you for saying that:):) It comes from there:)
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💞💞💞
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El lenguaje en tu poema y en tu voz, es un ser vivo que trata de infundir optimismo a quien solo desea descansar para siempre. Es conmovedor hasta la médula la situación de tu familiar y solo resta darte mi palabra de afecto con un cariño inmenso para superar este contratiempo en tu vida. Buen fin de semana Karima
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Muchas gracias Manuel y yo le doy la razon, sin embargo es y ha sido una persona tan importante en mi vida, que me cuesta “alegrarme”
(como el me pide) en la hora de su salida. Tus palabras demuestran tu gran empatía y este comentario, tiene mucho sentido para mi. Gracias mi amigo y buen Fin de Semana 🌹
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Estoy contigo Karima. Igual para tí una mejor semana.
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Awwww! Sorry to hear. I know you had a special place in your heart for him. Although he had a good run, and is ready to go, it is still hard, Im sorry my Ruca.
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He has been in this state for a year. If he had his sight he would still feel vital, be active on the internet, playing chess, conversing in Swahili (one of his languages) but he has been blind for the last 9 and in my heart I hope he can just take flight although I will profoundly miss our conversations. Thank you Ruco! Let’s talk soon 🙏
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🤗 🤗 🤗
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🙏🙏🙏 David:)
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He sounds like a wonderful person, unfortunately at a certain age we’re just ready to move on.
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This is true..I think the fact he is now blind has made him really want to go. Thank you for listening (or reading:) Pooja 🌹
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You’re welcome and yes that’s understandable. It can’t be easy for him in that condition.
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So glad you have had him in your life, and also that you truly respect what he needs. (And continue to love your new music)
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Oh Scottius me too, and we stil talk about 30 minutes each time and always find something to talk about it. I read him this poem(I had just finished it) over the phone, playing the music on speakers in the background. He loved it and “Yes…this is how it is!” When I said you know I’ll miss you, he said “I will miss you too” :)Thanks for the shout out on my Garage Band compositions..I have been on a nice roll…alhamdulillah:)
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ouch so he’s lasted more than a year since that post … it’s so sad when ppl give up on life when they are still around it is usually for a reason! You will obviously miss him as such a treasured family connection … I pray it happens soon as that’s what he wants. But I can feel your loss …
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Ahh yes Kate, he’s still with us, lives in New York, has caregivers and a loving family but , because of his blindness, (now total) he just wishes to slip away. Yes I pray also for what he wants, I think under the same circumstances I would wish the same and hope my loved ones understood. Thank you so much for feeling this poem/reality deeply.
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I worked with the blind for years and much can still be enjoyed … thankfully it is not the end of the world for most … but if he’s so tired of living then it’s difficult to accept and adjust.
Praying all goes smoothly for him at the end but he may have another year or two yet 🙂
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He lost his sight little by little over 9 years, but as he is a linguist and a Master in Chess, he was very adept at the computer and then could no longer play or connect with people all over the world. This is when he lost interest in life. Yes you might be right, but I hope for his sake he doesn’t have years to wait. Thank you so much for commenting about this. 🌹
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I can feel his pain, but I have a totally blind follower here on WP who uses voice activation to use the internet … surely there is a way forward, I hope 🙂
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Oh dearest Karima, I’m soooo sorry. What a blessed relationship you have with your cousin and your words sting and anoint at the same time. Such a blessing and the pain of losing someone you love is tough but knowing it imminent is hard. I hope you get more tomorrows like we are with my FIL when we sent hospice home and he seems so good. Here’s to more weekly talks and love my dear one. 💓💓💕🌹
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Aww thank you so much Cindy, I was feeling this sadness of letting him go when I wrote the music..I really didn’t know I would write this poem for it. I read it to him over the phone.. He said, Yep, that’s how it is…when I said I would miss him, he said he’d miss me too…awww I am glad your FIL is comfortable and you can spend time with him too. So important for everyone. Dan’s daughters and son, tell me how much they appreciate my calls, because he waits for them..🤗 I told them it’s a total win/win..I too wait for them.. He’s my last connection to my family, especially my father. Hugs you and I hope you are feeling all better too 🙂
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You are so very welcome, Karima. I didn’t see your message in my comments and just came here after I read you comment on my last post. It’s so good that you’re feeling all of the feelings that go with loss since it sounds like it’a matter of time. It’s so hard to let people go. It’s such a confirmation to let him be heard and seen. It has to be hell, when you’re ready. My FIL says “I wonder how I’ll know it’s time”. I think there is fear in the unknown and how wouldn’t there be. You have given him love dignity and acceptance which is also seen by his kids. Awww such a sweet circle of love and so very hard. I’m glad you brought my FIL up, I will go their tomorrow and see him after I see my Dad. Life is fragile and short for sure..Take good care of you too! 💓🤗
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Thank you again dear Cindy..I’m sure your FIL will light up when he sees you come in:) and thank you again for all your words about my cousin too…Much love to you…you give so much to people…here’s a little back to you:) ❤️🤗🥰
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Oh dear, Karima. I’ve yet to see him and my father has taken precedence. It’s constant juggling here.,., I know you know dear friend. Sending you a a lot of love today and always hugs..💗🤗
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Ohh I do and I send my best thoughts to give you strength in this “juggle” you have been given. You have a great heart and are kind and compassionate..you have all the tools to help them both so much. Much love to you Cindy…🤗❤️🙏
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I always appreciate your wisdom and blessings that do in fact give me courage and strength to do the best I can. Thank you sweet friend. Love to you to and hope your uncle is ok. You haven’t written in awhile💗
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I should probably make a note on my blog..that I am working on a BIG video..that is taking all my time and all my focus..but when it is done (a few more weeks maybe..I will be back!!! Promise..but thank you and I’m doing pretty well:) ❤️
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I love how you acknowledge that whatever your Cousin Dan wishes for himself, you wish for him. It is the ultimate act of selfless love. Thank you for sharing a bit of his life (and yours) with all of us. That saying about ‘wearing one’s heart on their sleeve’ comes to mind, except your expressions have a unique depth in deliverance as a shared experience. No one does it better, my darling Sissy-Poo ((hugs)).
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Sorry I am neglecting you and have taken so long to answer your beautiful comment…I am very into pre-production of a little secret project I am working on in which *coughs..I have two pisces stars alongside of me…off on another adventure:) Aww thank you for being such a fan of mine hehe, but really Sis I know you understand. In the end, all I can want is what he wants, as I love him. Big hugs and thank you for battling with WordPress to get this comment up!! You won!!
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How sad, Karima! It’s so hard to let people go that we love.
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Thank you so much Dawn and yes…. it truly is. I cherish each conversstion we still have.
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Thank you dear Karima for sharing your memory of someone so special. I had a step-father. Wisest man, I ever knew. I write poetry for his memory. Hello dear friend and I hope you are enjoying the days of June and having some fun.
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Ahh yes, have had a lot of rain but everything is soo green. My Cousin Dan is still alive,,,we talk every Thursday…:)
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