I de-render the world..when I go out without you.
The sky can stay and the clouds and trees,
I see the miraculous and what I want to see,
but I have no use for people’s stares or bad moods.
I push past them and I shy from curious looks or judgement,
over-focused interest and envy.
The tugboats can float downstream, while I see whales like kites
and I let the bird wings continue to color the leaves,
but I walk inside my bubble and I steam the glass
with thoughts of what I hope will last.
Because I don’t know who’s just being nice and who’s flirting with me.
Beautifully oblivious, wrapped and pinned in silk of colored shapes,
I am deaf to their whispers and bad ideas.
All those who stop like roadblocks and try to catch me, I wipe them away
like leaves on a path. I sweep them up and toss them with just my lack of interest… de-rendered, “be gone.” I whisper.
I hear everything… augmented, but only the music and the pleasing voices, and children laughing, and a whale song, otherwise I have my finger on mute and I mute it if it plays dissonance, drama themes or just streams in bad taste..
Over and over wiping away eyes who watch me from behind, the police cars, purse snatchers and hustlers; I’m blind to fights that break out on street corners,
whistles and vulgar gestures, the coveting of my spending power from shop owners, and the handsome or the desperate looking to addict me,
to a product or sell me their smartphones.
Goodbye drunks, who fall towards me; I erase them before they reach me,
and billboard lights go out, as do hands reaching for my legs unless they speak honestly to some compassion for humanity.
Stress, I turn to finger paint by mixing it with tears and then I paint parking meters and also flick the excess over the dirty asphalt coloring it in rainbows.
The clouds obey the breeze and I could watch them all day, becoming what I can never guess, and whales or birds are free to fly and swoop in front of me while the trees stand straight and tall waiting to catch their feathers when they fall.. ahh, but all the rest.. the rest that clamors, roars, annoys, entices, demands, or insistently waits for me to give the command..poof…..
November 9, 2015