In my twilight state, I am not asleep, yet not awake
I am being taken by the hand..a sharp prick to my vein
I relax in the neon room of white walls and my gown for this ball
Is a surgical green and all the other guests are dressed in pale blue
with masks yet we all nod to each other politely to say how do you do?
The room is noisy with voices and conversation and I can eavesdrop if I want…
but at this moment..I want nothing more than to
watch the beautiful display
that my optic nerve has prepared for me,
as it goes to sleep, numb and throwing off patterns, memories..creating scenes: Damasks of deep blue-green…..How very lovely to be here, in this state I am thinking. Why was I ever afraid to cross the threshold?
Then someone pours, in slow motion a pitcher of coffee and cream down a gray wall..
That gets my attention and I think how could such drab colors be so lovely together?
How could I be hearing the voices say things, and not be that interested..well maybe just a little..”In 25 years I have not seen this ever” is one I remember, but then the slowly undulating stream of coffee and cream moving down the inside of my eyelids..calls once again to me…to pay attention.
Bright laser bright blue with white echoing circles..flashing and changing hue
I want to say something..as there seems to be lots of cheerful banter..I think, I am pretty quick too, but when I open my mouth to speak out…. my turn…my mouth is covered in heavy layers and… Oh, I get it..”Oh no one wants to hear from me” and I am not offended or scared.
I accept everything!
The moving rivers of color now brighter than before, snap me back
I am a captive audience of one..maybe even tied down to the bed, but none of this is important at all..
Beautiful artistic scenery, my mind is creating (I do know it’s me) and so entertaining to the very last second..
Please sit up now.. OK..I feel great. How was your eye surgery? Someone in the waiting room asks me…Oh my, I reply euphorically…my eyes bright as a child’s on Christmas day…
It was soo wonderful!!”