I possessed your strangled dreams,
a husband dead,
and then you fled
your horrors of that war.
You cried so hard
your tears fell from my eyes
which made me
love you even more.
I don’t think you ever lied to me,
assured me you’d rather die,
well maybe just this last time
when you said,
“ma salaama is
I am going through all
the mourning stages
just as if you’re
They all say
This is good for me,
will bring me wholly back to life
stop me from
shuffling the zombie corridors
of my empty broken head.
I was the one who possessed you,
You peered out through my blue eyes.
You cried from the deepest parts of me,
your pain, released unburdened,
through my living breathing sighs
But here it comes..
the anger stage
I’ve been through
denial and pain
Was that ever an alternative
to never ever see you
in this life time
Was it possible you
just walked away?
Had no idea that
your sudden leaving
would send my reality into sway?
O.k. we used up plan A and B
but I was working on another,
to have you always by my side,
I would be your love and you the lover,
not like so many loves before
not like couples, mothers,brothers.
Were we not transplants by His fate?
Did we not grow
vital organs for each other?
Sounds like a song for jumping rope.
It sounds so silly before the facts,
can a mated soul unhook itself,
drop all possession and not look back?
How can a conjoined twin
held by head and heart survive?
Did you dare to lay the scalpel there
and take out all the power of us
that once kept me alive?
Last night you came alive to me in dreams,
Walked in my room to fill your vacant shoes,
No other could, that chance they all passed by
Their handicap too great, destined to lose.
You pressed your face to mine, I held my breath,
Inhaled my tears to feel you at my side,
Suspend me here in sweet unconsciousness!
For daybreak brings the painful truth you hide.
And in this dream you asked me for your shoes,
I thought it late for you to even try,
Like giving up a vice more than a year,
The flavor’s wrong, when too much time goes by.
Sweet haunting presence why not leave my world,
What good for you or I can this still be?
Your prolonged silence grows until it roars,
Weak broken will betrays resolve in me.
How arrogant false confidence burned bright,
I wrote a thousand words to say “I’m through”
No thought again to chance it all belies,
Belief in night’s cruel gift of seeing you.
But dreams are wondrous writers of the heart,
Each wish, a scene and may thy will be done,
A midnight walk and talk in specter’s realm,
Brings cries of anguish when dissolved by sun.
Just when I plead with you, to not take flight,
You walk away in shoes that fit just right.