Your Movie

Posted on November 18, 2020 by Karima Hoisan

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Your Movie

It seems I’m still not over you
not the way I wanted to,
immune to white sheer curtains blowing,
on warm night winds of memory

I no longer sail to where it hurts,
but seeing your face negates efforts,
you’re tucked away in my camera,
that one time captured us.

So I charge up the battery,
curious as to what I’ll see,
hoping and yet fearing this to be
the tape I thought I’d surely lost.

Then there you are so tall and smart,
Feigned shyness as you fix your scarf,
“Don’t rob me of my modesty,” you say,
“To show someone this tape would be a wrong.”

I look to your betraying eyes
The ones that brought me tears and lies
The ones that said “I love you”
Then left forever, without saying goodbye.

No indiscretions can be seen
Upon our cozy bedroom scene,
We look to be the best of friends
Two loving souls dissolving into one

The camera saw not everything
Some scenes cut from self-censoring,
But sadly now what I do see,
Was my utter joy to just be in your movie.

Karima Hoisan
Oct. 23, 2004
Karak, Jordan

*An older one from a long time ago…..

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40 Responses to Your Movie

  1. ben Alexander says:
    November 18, 2020 at 11:19 am

    Ouch.

    I think most of us have either been there or will be.

    Very well penned.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    • Karima Hoisan says:
      November 18, 2020 at 11:36 am

      Thank you so much Ben, for visiting my blog and commenting. Yes, I think you are right, people disappear on us, people who mattered. It’s a sad truth of our days (or even 20 years ago!) I am glad you enjoyed this poem:) 🌺

      Like

      Reply
  2. daleinnis says:
    November 18, 2020 at 11:27 am

    Lovely and poignant!

    Our technology does make it easier to remember things we’d rather forget, doesn’t it? But sometimes it’s good to remember, being in that movie…

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  3. Sabiscuit says:
    November 18, 2020 at 12:58 pm

    Charge up the battery… I wonder if that is why I have an aversion to photographing people or situations as mementos. I know that people love to do it but I like to live inside the moment and be there. Or perhaps this is a defence mechanism in case things go awry and then my brain can shred the memory. When we shred data these days, it’s not even going away.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    • Karima Hoisan says:
      November 18, 2020 at 1:04 pm

      That is very true Lily,,almost impossible to shred data and if it found its way to the internet…it might live on forever. I am a picture taker, I admit, but keep most of them, off the internet. you are probably smarter than I am, and never charge up the battery:) That was over 20 years ago, and I was much more naive:) in so many ways…Thank you, for stopping by🙏

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  4. Karima Hoisan says:
    November 18, 2020 at 1:22 pm

    Poetry is another scrap book I keep:) Best wishes to you too Lily….

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  5. kurk says:
    November 18, 2020 at 3:35 pm

    clearly not… the one…
    but we never see that until it is revealed to us…
    and until that moment comes
    we tend to see, hear and believe
    only what we wish to see, hear and believe…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Karima Hoisan says:
      November 18, 2020 at 4:46 pm

      HI Kurk, nice to see you back:) No, not the one, but a great muse for my writing at one time,especially after leaving:) Yes love is blind, deaf and naive, but I would not shy away from doing it again..with that intensity:) Thank you so much for your comment!

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  6. Puzzles of the Soul says:
    November 18, 2020 at 10:08 pm

    One of the hardest things to grasp is people flowing in and out of our lives, some touch us with passion and depth. Then disappear in the mist of life to be seen no more. Just a fading memory which is held in the soul.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Karima Hoisan says:
      November 18, 2020 at 10:43 pm

      Beautifully put Nanette… it’s one of life’s hard things to accept..the constant flow of moving forward..and sometimes people get left behind.hank you once again for your support!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Puzzles of the Soul says:
        November 19, 2020 at 4:59 am

        You are so welcome this has been a constant in my life sometimes leaving me in a quandary to let go. When people are looking in different directions and the two cannot be merged or paralleled there has to be parting. May your new steps lead you to more fulfilling life.

        Like

  7. Diana says:
    November 18, 2020 at 11:18 pm

    Beautiful piece, my dearest Karima! The memory of love lost in what remains only in old photos…. Lovely. ❤️❤️💐😘

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Karima Hoisan says:
      November 19, 2020 at 9:29 am

      Yes, trapped in photos and in this, case a video camera our memories live on..sometimes too long.In this case, the saga ended years later.. we reunited as she was dying of cancer just long enough to make it all right, before she left for good. I did a post on that if you are interested in 2012 https://karimahoisan.com/2012/07/03/my-gliding-beauty-1971-2012/
      Thank you so much Diana for your interest and appreciation of my poetry. ❤️🙏🌺

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Diana says:
        November 19, 2020 at 9:44 am

        Oh Karima…I just read it…. I’m in tears my dear. I’m so sorry for your loss.. I don’t know what to say… You write so beautifully.. It just touched my soul. You are such a gift. And I swear I am so happy I’m on WordPress. It has opened my eyes to the culture and love of so many good souls in this world. And you are such a flower. So delicately made, I feel. May Allah always bless you my dear. You deserve too much happiness. And even more love. Be very blessed… And please keep writing… 😘❤️💐💕💕💕💕

        Liked by 1 person

    • Karima Hoisan says:
      November 19, 2020 at 10:44 am

      Diana, thank you sensitive soul, for taking the time to read a little more about the whole story of this destiny. Many times, I have thought I should try to write the history but I always decide not to. I have many many poems about her on this blog and I feel, that this is a better way to honor who she was to me, through poetry. Umahamd (Mother of Ahmad) was widowed in the Iraqi war and became an illegal refugee in ~Jordan with her 4 children (married at 15) and I took her in to work with me.. The rest is a twisting history, where she winds up, schizophrenic, in Texas as a legal refugee and brings her 4 kids to a better life, before she dies at 41 of ovarian cancer. Thank you for your beautiful comment. You really do inspire me:) and yes my poetic friend… may we keep writing forever!! 🌹❤️🙏

      Liked by 1 person

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      • Diana says:
        November 19, 2020 at 11:15 am

        Karima, thank you… For sharing this with me. I can feel how close you must have been to her. It is very beautifully portrayed in your work. I’m sure you both shared a bond that even death can never break. I feel honoured to have met you. Karima, I believe we have been given life to love and respect one another, above all else. If these 2 qualities are shown by us in abundance, then I feel we have lived a life worthwhile. This is why I stress the magic of love and the need for healing in many of my poems.. Stay blessed sweet child., 💐❤️❤️🤗💕

        Liked by 1 person

    • Karima Hoisan says:
      November 24, 2020 at 8:26 pm

      I think I missed answering one of your beautiful comments..because of a lack of a place to reply to you.. I love your thoughts Diana.. I had a very special loving yet platonic relationship with her. I never even dreamed something like this was even possible…but it is..a romantic, passionate yes platonic relationship..It was my first and I feel will be my last as it is so rare. Someone asked me, who didn’t know the story well…”Ahh so you are bisexual!” and I said no I am bi-amorous:) There is a big difference. I feel in this life we are invited to know love, all the types of love that there can be…fraternal, familial, romantic, sexual, passionate, or in this case….a plationic love affair..that was a reality for years.. I agree with you,The magic of love, is one of the ways we can experience magic..another is creating something:) You know very well both:) Thank you dea Diana and your loving soul 🌺🌸🙏❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Diana says:
        November 25, 2020 at 8:50 am

        Thank you for sharing something so personal of yours to me. The more we share the more I feel you are a rare diamond! Love is love, Karima. And I agree, there’s all kinds of love in this world💞💞.. Be blessed and stay safe my dear 💐💐🙏😘🤗🤗

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Hoyt says:
    November 19, 2020 at 7:43 am

    Aww Miss Karima this is so heartfelt! Such a lovely way to approach a lovely memory. The fact that you can paint your memories with words makes them even more indelible. And remember…She told you she was sorry before she left.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Karima Hoisan says:
      November 19, 2020 at 9:13 am

      Hoyt,Yes, you do know the whole story..in a hospice room in her last days, she did ask for my forgiveness and of course I gave it to her. Such a saga was her short life!!..and for the few years, crossed mine, I am ever grateful for all of it. Thank you dear friend for all your appreciation and support! You know what it means to me.

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      Reply
  9. Jeff Flesch says:
    November 19, 2020 at 10:17 pm

    Phew. That is powerful. Karima, another lovely poem. Just wonderful.❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  10. nirajshah2003 says:
    November 21, 2020 at 3:51 pm

    This is a wonderful poem! You write really well, and this is a great way to approach a lovely memory! Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Feel free to read some of my blogs 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Karima Hoisan says:
      November 21, 2020 at 3:55 pm

      Thank you Niraj, I appreciate your leaving a comment/ I am glad you enjoyed “Your Movie” I have looked at your blog, and it seems interesting…mental health is something we can all relate to.

      Like

      Reply
  11. Samreen Asad says:
    November 24, 2020 at 1:10 pm

    Oh this is so poignant Karima, you wrote this so fervently. ❤️ People come into your life like a breeze, stay with you like they were always meant to be there with you and like a blow of wind they leave as if they were never there, just to be cherished in your memories. 😊❤️
    I am so sorry my dearest for Umahmad, I read “my gliding beauty”, the link you mentioned above, though it is rare that I read comments, saw the link and then went through it. Am glad I saw the link and got to read your work, beautiful just beautiful, my heart aches so much for her and your lovely relationship with her. May Allah bless her and give her highest place in Jannah. And I so adore you dearest Karima, may Allah bless you always. ❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗🤗
    I am so happy our paths somehow crossed😊💖❤️

    Like

    Reply
    • Karima Hoisan says:
      November 24, 2020 at 8:41 pm

      Ohh Samreen what a beautiful comment and also a gesture..to actually read a comment and follow the link to know a bit more of our history. I feel you understand so much and your comparing people to breezes, I understand very deeply… as a breeze lifted her up and carried her away while I was holding her hand. She was so devout, we used to pray every fajar together..but she became ill with schizophrenia (people in Jordan thought it was Jinn( baeed al shar) and she suffered for 8 years getting progressively worse until she died of ovarian cancer in 2012..which for all of us was God’s mercy on her. Anyway I feel blessed I had many good years with her and her children, and today the children and I are still very much in touch alhamdulillah. Thank you for your generosity Samreen..and your prayers for Umahmad. I feel very close to you..like we have known each other for years..and as you also know *smiles, I am a great admirer of your poetry For me it’s maktoob that we know each other..Heba min Allah..I am so happy, to begin to know you as an artist and as a woman:)❤️❤️🙏

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Samreen Asad says:
        November 25, 2020 at 11:15 pm

        You truly got that meaning of breeze Karima and why you wouldn’t, you are such a great poetess, am so happy you could get what I wanted to convey. I have no words for Umahmad, since yesterday I am just wondering how difficult was her life her trials, early marriage, widowhood, children to look after, schizophrenia and then she gave up to that battle. Oh and we complain Allah for such little things in our life that go wrong. I so love you Karima for your immense love and support to her and your kindness towards her family. ❤️ I feel blessed to know you Karima and equally feel close to you. It indeed is Maktoob, everything is written prior to its happening. In my 4 months of blogging, I feel grateful to come across some wonderful people and I truly regret why I started it late, I would have known you people since back then.
        What to say of your sweet words Karima about me, I feel elated with my feet floating above ground. JazakAllah khair Habeebity for all your love❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗🤗

        Liked by 1 person

    • Karima Hoisan says:
      November 26, 2020 at 1:02 pm

      JazakAllah khair habeebity…you are a very special soul .Allah kareem ma3ki. You know you say, you wish you would have come to WordPress earlier.. but Allah knows best when to arrive. I am just so glad now that you are here:) ❤️🤗🙏

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  12. Shruti says:
    November 26, 2020 at 7:12 am

    This is so beautifully articulated. Loved it Karima!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  13. fatema shakib says:
    November 29, 2020 at 7:44 pm

    Amazing word flow. Gorgeous gorgeous work 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  14. LaDonna Remy says:
    December 5, 2020 at 8:56 am

    You write beautifully. “Some scenes cut from self-censoring”, A perfect and deeply true line. There is so much we don’t and just cant see, in the beginning of some experiences. Your writing really is lovely. 🤍

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Karima Hoisan says:
      December 5, 2020 at 9:05 am

      Thank you LaDonna and welcome to my blog! Yes, self censoring can deprive us of much, but perhaps also saves us from some experiences. Only living them, will we really know,in retrospect, if it would have been better to not…The line after, for me, is something I see looking back…the joy to be in someone’s life (their movie) even if it was not a starring role, has its own merits too. Love always is its own reward in my book:) Thank you again for your thoughtful comment.🙏❤️🌺

      Liked by 1 person

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