Please click Play to hear my recorded version of this poem to some Arabic/Spanish music
(For Natascha)
Well I still miss you too.
I’m not of your blood, we had no vows or rings,
I never saw your face in laughter or in horror.
We never kissed or romantically danced
not even once; that wasn’t us.
As we evolved and developed, perfected
our uncommon partnership,
I grew to love you in an entirely different way.
Is that why I’m still on earth today to make some sense of it,
while you took off on your last flight?
I guess this new wave of missing was coming up behind me
like an unwanted headlight on the highway,
high beams in my mirror…
but sometimes, I avoid looking back
because honestly, its a little sad to remember all of that.
Oh my partner on so many rides
I was your co- pilot by your side
and even if we never touched or talked in real life
We have 29 full grown children we conceived
and birthed together.
We learned to form one creative mind,
in harmony and so wildly efficient..every single time.
Does the virtual not count for anything?
Was our ten years of partnership making movies
for months at a time….
just a delusion, a shared fantasy that mimicked insanity?
No, I will never believe that…
and who cares if once again I formed part of a label-less love
more influential in my life, then ones consecrated in the flesh…
and of course I see the irony..
My two out- of -bounds, out- of -time, limited by sickness ended by death
are two women I will never forget.
How lucky can one person be?
And when people say to me…”We never see you in Second Life anymore”
I will show them this poem.
Karima Hoisan
February 4, 2023
Costa Rica
Digital Rabbit Hole 
Aw, how true, how real.
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Thank you Belavar…yes it was really really real…as you understand.
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So much emotion and truth in this; 29 wonderful children! Nat would probably tease you about this one 🙂 but she would also love it.
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Thank you Dale…You know. I think Nat would just like it a lot..it doesn’t fit into her “Too Corny” Category. maybe into her “Too Emotional Category:) but I think she would agree with what I say here…She’d see us in the lines:):) What can I say? She knows I miss her…
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Wow Karima, this is deeply beautiful. I truly think some of your best pieces are the ones dedicated to Nat, and that shows just how real the love between you two was and still is. It is impossible to read this piece and not feel all the emotion behind it, so beautifully articulated my friend. And I agree, I think “Real” is the word for this one…it’s bursting with authenticity in such a beautiful way. Thank you for sharing, Karima. Nat will always be with you 🤍🤗
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Thank you so much dear Grace…Yes lately to Nat and to Umahmad (Pure Love) Two amazingly platonic but effervescent partnerships…different from each other but some of the same ingredients in the both…and unforgettable. Thank you so much, it poured out of me…must be the full moon almost here, or just a nostalgic psychic shift…but her presence is very missed and I am a bit at a loss, in the virtual…without her. Real can be found even in the virtual. It just can Hugs and thank you for your reflections on my piece 🙏❤️🙏
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Oh yes, you found the perfect words and rhythm once again. I’ll show them this poem too 🙂 Hugs!
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Thanks so much Joey..I guess I’ll never know when Nat might decide to beam in on an almost full moon… It seems today was the day:) Thank you for everything..We helped each other get through the first year:)❤️
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To many more years to come! Hugs ❤
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A lovely tribute to a lovely person. While sad, I am happy you two were able to make magic while you could.
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Ahhh we made the most magical magic!! Yes…we had a good run, as they say.. I know Scottius..I am very grateful for all those years. Thank you …you knew:)
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Stunning.
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Thank you so much Jay 🌹
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Magical writing, Karima ❤
Worthy of a special friend…
~David
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Thank you David…and you know how special she really was but all that has been resolved in my head. She was Natascha,,,the best creative soulmate, I will ever be gifted…. another woman who lives in my heart. ❤️
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*hug*
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I love the way you honor your beloved friend! Poignant… yet rippling with deep affection and respect, it’s impossible not to feel what your creative partnership brought to you both and then… to the world ((hugs)). Your 29 ‘children’ are the embodiment of your eternal partnership. Nat’s gifts, rather than leave a shadow, continually provide a living window of time that transcends and uplifts everyone who has hopes and dreams to pursue their passions and leave a legacy that can be embraced by others forevermore.
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Thank you Diz… I am very nostalgic it seems and the truth has dawned on me… Whoever she was in RL..who cares? She was amazing and we made magic together..Yes our 29 children live on and will live on, after I too am gone. There is a great comfort in knowing this.. We left something behind..a two-woman team that to say the least is very uncommon in our virtual video-making world. Our children are reflections of this amazing partnership across the sea. Alhamdullilah 🙏 Love you Sis ❤️
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I love the way this poem opens and takes me straight into the emotional and evocative narrative that ends with just the right note on the title! ❤
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Thank you so much Layla for this beautiful comment. I am happy you could feel, the dance, the flow to the title..Your comments always show me, you felt the poem and that is important. Thank you for doing that 🌹
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This is a thoughtful and heartwarming tribute to your friend, Karima. A beautiful memorial to the memories you made together, and the ways that friendship will always endure.
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Thank you Joyce, my heart was breaking in this moment…that came creeping up on me from behind. I had no idea, I would write this poem and when it came over me, that feeling of “never again” I miss this, but I’m also so grateful I had this extraordinary creative partnership for 10 years!!! Yes our “children” we conceived and brought into the world, will live on as long as YouTube does:):) Thank you so much for listening:) 🌹
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Of course, Karima. Thank you so much for sharing these feelings with everyone. I think everyone can relate to finding ways to memorialize and remember those we’ve loved and lost.
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Oh yes and it is healing and important that we can. Thanks again Joyce 🙏
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Your love and partnership with Nat cannot be labeled. I suspect your memories of her are your souls connecting even now, though they are sometimes difficult to sit still with and experience without your thinking of her loss. Of course, even now! The connection was never broken when she left this earthly plane. Your shared world now is different, but she is with you always.
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Oh Linda how beautiful! You words touch me, while still feeling a little vulnerable,,but yes you are right, she still is close and what we had for 10 years was as real as it can get. I know you know from personal experience, the answer to my poetic question, “Does the virtual not count for anything?”
The list is so long, the memories that are truly made in this realm.. Big hugs and thank you again 🤗🙏🤗
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You’re on a roll Karima … love it and this is so moving and relatable. Magical and mystical consecrated by words of the heart, a love that transcends time and space and yet poof gone with the wind before we can take flight.
Sending love and compassion my friend💞
“a shared fantasy that mimicked insanity?
No, I will never believe that…
and who cares if once again I formed part of a label-less love
more influential in my life, then ones consecrated in the flesh…”
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Hugs you Cindy…your words just hugged me, You know about these label-less loves….these words ” a love that transcends time and space and yet poof gone with the wind before we can take flight.” Wow! I feel you know this from the inside out, not only because you are a good “empathizer:.. Really Cindy, thank you..This is like a healing hug..Your compassion is beautiful and endless..
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Oh I’m delighted to know. I do know for sure. I know right.. in midair ….. poof up in smoke but we carry on cuz, well what else we gonna do?!!! You’re so welcome and thanks for sharing it’s cathartic actually and hey, you can write it for all of us because at some point we all have been through something similar. You’re so welcome my dear Karima! You are very kind! 💞Hugs and love back 🤗
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Much love and hugs to you too Cindy! You are a special soul 🌟
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And to you dear Karima! ❣️
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Reblogged this on johncoyote and commented:
Wonderful verbal and written poetry shared by a talented writer.
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Amazing dear Karima. I love when you tell me a story.
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Ohh and like you..all my stories are true..cut from the cloth of my life. Thank you John for loving this one enough to reblog it.
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What a beautiful tribute and wonderful gift this person was to you. Thank you for sharing this with us all.
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Thank you so much Bridgette for your beautiful comment. Yes, she was very special and she and I were such a one of a kind team in the virtual world. She was in Germany and I am in Costa Rica…If you’re interested in our story., this is a short video we made, a meta look at our process, using many scenes from our videos, I hope you enjoy it, https://youtu.be/gKO7pt_UCzI
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What a lovely tribute to Natascha! A reminder to enjoy the ride, embrace the moment and share our love now because we can’t see what is around the next corner. Your words on numerous occasions have immortalized many moments Ruca. Thank you!
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Ohhh Hoyt thank you..you know the reality of the virtual and also of Nat & I.. You know this avatar so much better than most…please Skype me
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A fascinating piece and a lovely tribute.
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Thank you very much for reading and I hope listening to this poem for Nat. It means a lot that you did. You were so very supportive of me when I lost her. I will never forget that. I’m glad you found it fascinating. The story itself is quite unique. Hugs Gabriela and much appreciation for you always.
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Very beautiful, Karima!
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Thank you so much Dawn for listening Hugss🤗
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Glad we have our time together buddeh.
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Me too Buddeh… after 14 years, there is nothing more real than us!!
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I find it very interesting that we can form relationships with people thousands of miles away and never meet them, or are never likely to meet them. I do think that those relationships are very special, they require a great amount of trust and honesty. You are fortunate to have been blessed with such a relationship. I remember once reading about C S Lewis and his exchange of letters with a lady.
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Thank you David and yes, I guess our modern equivalent would be a relationship through letters, like was done in times gone past. The beauty of what Nat and I did, was the ability to create videos, that will be around long after we are gone. This is a great comfort for me:) I share one you might enjoy. Using scnes from our pasts movies, it shows our process how we worked..who we were. I hope you will watch it:) https://youtu.be/gKO7pt_UCzI. I enjoyed your comment very much.
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Oh wow Karima…this poem of yours is absolutely beautiful….I love the recitation…I love the love between you two…
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So, I hit “reply” by mistake 🙄…
Your beautiful voice was filled with emotions…just like this heartfelt poem…29 children between you & Nat…”formed part of a label-less love”…it’s truly label-less coz it’s so real & unconditional…a lovely tribute to a lovely person from a lovely being…this is the very first post I checked on WP after my “break”…I’m so glad it’s this one…simply amazing, Karima ❤️
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Thank you my friend…and after a lot of thought after her death..she was and will always be, what she showed me she was…and Real Life was never part of us..and that’s ok..I’m proud to be part of 2 label-less loves in my life…I feel blessed.
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Smiles* Oh I’ve done that once or twice myself:)
Thank you my friend…and after a lot of thought after her death..she was and will always be, what she showed me she was…and Real Life was never part of us..and that’s OK..I’m proud to be part of 2 label-less loves in my life…I feel blessed. I love your description of label-less love “so real & unconditional…” Wow yes, that describes us..and we became, synced into one…honestly…something I would not have believed possible for “two strangers” but we were anything but strangers and I felt I wanted to write this, to recite this now…whatever the skeptics think about relationships and creative partnerships in virtual worlds ..how they are just pixel cartoon characters..the main thing is..some of us put our souls inside those pixelated cartoon people…and become as real as anyone out here. Nat and I both did…and then joined forces and became a very real Production company of two…and we have 29 proofs on YouTube and you can watch and wonder,,”How did they manage to do that?”
I am really honored you chose to read this piece after coming off of your break.. It means so much to me Naveen and very happy to see you back. Thank you for this beautiful comment..This is where I landed after much deliberation and soul-searching..Hugs you..I know you understand my friend
I felt this one in my heart!! 🙏❤️🙏
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You’re very welcome, Karima…real world or virtual world…when energy flow freely, then the type of world doesn’t matter…you two were surely connected…and this can be felt…amazing piece, dear friend ❤️
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Karima, es una publicación hermosa que transmite sentimientos muy profundos. Te admiro y te felicito.
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Muchas Gracias Santiago…sí este poema es de sentimientos muy profundos, y mucho amor y asombro tambien. uno de nuestros videos, que hicimis lo hice tambien en Español. Tal vez te gustaría verlo… https://youtu.be/CW0Q04ODZns
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A beautiful poem of a relationship that is true… nothing separates friendship, for friendship as no darkness, as clouds sometimes do…!
🇯🇲🏖️
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Oh thank you so much! Yes it was a real relationship for 10 years in a virtual platform. She passed away Sept. 2021 at age 40. We made movies together under the name Randt & Hoisan.
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How we click with some people! How does the connection become so deep?!
So glad that you can make your reader feel, what you feel!
Lot’s of love to you, Karima! ❤
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Oh thank you…what you said Harshi, fills my heart, because that is all I was trying to do. It is amazing and unusual the type of creative partnership that I had with Natascha..but in this day and age, it happens…it’s possible. I’m glad you could feel the depth I was trying to convey..Thank you for all these generous comments you left on my blog. They made my day:):)
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This is really powerful! So introspective! You have such a deep and thoughtful way of looking at the world. Learn so much from seeing your creativity. Thanks!
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Thank you Ben…yes it was a personal, as you say, introspective poem, but it also has universal ramifications, as the virtual is more than ever a place where people work and meet. Does that which is produced there have value? I think it does. I still and will always miss my creative partner of 10 years….even though I never “knew” her:)
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You knew her in the most important way, I think: that spiritual connection. Again, it’s great. Keep it up!
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Thank you again, Ben, for your very perceptive support:) Thanks for your encouragement too 🙏
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