Memorial to My Delusion-Revisited

Posted on May 2, 2023 by Karima Hoisan

The Devine Union

                                 The Divine Union  by Dale Innis on Midjourney

Hi everyone,
I invite you to listen to the recording of this poem, “Memorial to my Delusion,” which I recite to my own soundtrack. I first did this in 2012 and thought it fun to share it with you all who follow my blog in 2023.  If you need help understanding it, the words are below, but it was originally done to be a performance piece, to be heard not read:) Enjoy!!

Memorial To My Delusion

You know when we want to believe its true?
And When we want to believe its true?
And we want to believe it’s true so bad
that we almost let ourselves believe its true?
So we begin to gather little pieces… the ones that seem to fit
and we begin to gather little pieces… the ones that almost fit
Like how they make us laugh, they say they’ll never makes us cry
and how they make us dream and feel loved,
and we believe we are their special love
and we believe they are our special love
and the details that we start to see, that don’t seem to really fit,
those details that we start to see that don’t seem to really fit
Well we leave those ones behind
yes, we leave those ones behind

We start to twist some tiny little shattered colored stones
And little crumbling fragile gathered bits of glass
And it’s like a tiny nest that we’ve built upon the sand
And we see how fragile it really is, because we’ve done this once before
so we reinforce it, until it becomes a little stronger
layer after layer we lay upon it
because we are trying so hard to make it last
because we finally believe that it is true,
so we build upon it, to make it last a long long time,
because we are trying to make a rock foundation.
But then just when we’re sweating in our labors of love
we hear a very distant warning bell

We hear a bothersome repeating buzz
It’s like a telephone off the hook and we don’t realize
It’s like an alarm clock that we can’t shut off and we prefer to stay asleep,
like a siren that goes off every day at the neighbor’s house,
until you don’t pay it any mind
And you don’t call the police, and you roll over and go back to sleep.

And one day you wake up and you say, “Whaaaat?”
One day you wake up and you say, “Whaaat???”
You say what was that all about?
And you focus and your eyes grow colder and you say,
“What was I building here?”
Upon the sand, and the little birds nests and the strange colored shards of sparkly glass…?

It just looks like a memorial to my delusion….
It looks like a memorial to my delusion
It’s a memorial to my delusion.

Karima Hoisan
May 14th 2012
“Bubble” Kitely – Virtual Worlds on Demand

 

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33 Responses to Memorial to My Delusion-Revisited

  1. daleinnis's avatar daleinnis says:
    May 2, 2023 at 2:15 pm

    Such a classic 🙂 and a really memorable performance. This line

    One day you wake up and you say, “Whaaat???”

    is part of my internal soundscape now!

    Liked by 1 person

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  2. swadharma9's avatar swadharma9 says:
    May 2, 2023 at 2:33 pm

    ah, i too know this space.☁️💨🌪️ i love how you wind around & around the story in dreamlike sequences, leading in time to the realization of truth👁️👁️ beautifully done!🙏🏼😘

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  3. marcdbaker's avatar marcdbaker says:
    May 2, 2023 at 4:35 pm

    Hi Karima, I’ve been a busy boy. Have not commuicated with you for a while. My delusion is only a simple illusion. Perhaps one day we shall meet and I can explain my delusional illusion over a couple of cognacs and some papusas. You are a temptress Karima. You Ukranian women are delitefully sublime. Tell me something about yourself and I, in turn, will reciprocate. You first.
    Your friend ,
    Marc David

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  4. johncoyote's avatar johncoyote says:
    May 2, 2023 at 5:09 pm

    Your verbal poetry, so wonderful dear Karima. A poem for you.
    “Was a lovely night and I danced with the loneliness gal in Austin, Texas.
    She told me, I lost my great love. Where do I go now?
    I kissed her forehead and I told her.
    My dear friend. We will have many great loves.
    We will laugh, we will dance with joy.
    And sometimes love disappears and we learn.
    Maybe, wasn’t our great love.
    Tonight, you and I.
    We shall dance till we will fall in love,
    we will dance till we will find our smiles and our laughter.
    Love is like making wishing well wishes,
    hoping maybe we can win.
    The music is good and the night is young.
    It is time to dance our sadness away.”

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  5. Karima Hoisan's avatar Karima Hoisan says:
    May 2, 2023 at 5:25 pm

    Always…and forever:)

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  6. macalder02's avatar macalder02 says:
    May 2, 2023 at 9:01 pm

    En primer lugar, solo me quede con tu voz en el audio puesto que no hablo inglés. Si me voy a los versos del Memorial, aprecio nuevamente una sinopsis de lo mas importante de tu vida. Ya había leído el resumen que hiciste cuando cumpliste lo 76 años y ahora lo haces con ese sentir poético con esa manera tan peculiar de decir las cosas. Es una de la razones por la que encuentre formidable tu blog. Que tengas una feliz noche Karima.

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  7. Hoyt's avatar Hoyt says:
    May 3, 2023 at 9:28 am

    Wow! A memorial to my delusion. We sure all have built those throughout our lives. You Karima, as always, are the master of the metaphor. “Like a siren….Like an alarm clock…Like a telephone.” As Hendrix wrote, “Castles made of sand, wash into the sea eventually. I love your writing! Always have.

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  8. Cindy Georgakas's avatar Cindy Georgakas says:
    May 3, 2023 at 3:06 pm

    The etherealness of your voice and your words are always gifts to my soul and heart and everyone that reads and knows you Karmima. I love this reworked poem. I don’t remember hearing it before but it it beautifully illustrates the illusion of life’s beauty and teaching when we stay awake.
    💗
    I love these lines “And little crumbling fragile gathered bits of glass
    And it’s like a tiny nest that we’ve built upon the sand
    And we see how fragile it really is, because we’ve done this once before”
    Superb job of imagery, always my friend! ❣️

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  9. michnavs's avatar michnavs says:
    May 5, 2023 at 3:24 am

    Whoaaa…i am totally amaze by this Karima. The beat of your own soundtrack layered upon your beautiful voice reading this piece ….just pure talent and beauty..
    If you can see me now, i am taking small steps to the right small steps to the left, and nodding my head to the beat of this poem- soundtrack duo.
    The play up of words too is brilliant…and i love how you ended it repeating the last line three times.

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    • Karima Hoisan's avatar Karima Hoisan says:
      May 5, 2023 at 2:17 pm

      Aww thanks so much Mich and I’m really glad you mentioned and enjoyed my soundtrack:) Thank you for your positive and beautiful words about this piece. Thank you again for such generous and detailed feedback,,I really enjoyed seeing it through your eyes.

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  10. Dawn Pisturino's avatar Dawn Pisturino says:
    May 7, 2023 at 8:29 am

    Your poem reflects my own thoughts that humans are experts at self-delusion.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Karima Hoisan's avatar Karima Hoisan says:
      May 7, 2023 at 8:37 am

      Smiling big:) Thank you Dawn for listening..I think it might reflect many people’s thoughts and experiences as it was one of the most requested at my readings. People used to say, “Could you do that Whaaaat??! one?”

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  11. Benjamin Grossman's avatar Benjamin Grossman says:
    May 7, 2023 at 3:41 pm

    Music is awesome! Love that opening bit. Always cool hearing you perform.

    Liked by 1 person

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  12. Sundaram Chauhan's avatar Sundaram Chauhan says:
    May 18, 2023 at 12:47 am

    Oh, how you hypnotize, Karima! How you mesmerize. So skilfully you repeat the words. And consolidate on the thought. Spiralling deeper and deeper into the core of it. Changing deftly from ‘looks like’ to ‘it is’. From ‘well we…’ to ‘yes we…”
    I don’t know whether you’re a better poet, or a better narrator, my friend. It’s while swaying to the music of your voice, that I have to remind myself that the very words are your creation too. You see, your narration makes me forget it. Your narration is complete in itself.
    And the topic. Well, you seem like an expert of it. Like a psychologist who has had the fortune of experiencing her own theories. You explain it with music. You explain it with a lot of soul. And it explains everything in turn. All our delusions. From religious to romantic.
    Must I say I absolutely loved it. 🙂

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    • Karima Hoisan's avatar Karima Hoisan says:
      May 18, 2023 at 12:52 pm

      Oh Sundaram…what can I say after such a beautiful eloquent comment? I shared your comment with my friend and collaborator, Dale, and he immediately said, only a poet/writer could have found these words…I agree. You totally, but on every level, poem, music, voice over allowed this piece to enter you ..to ” hypnotize,” and “mesmerize” (your words) while you were listening.Thank you my friend for this amazing comment, that stimulates and inspires me to keep doing pieces like this.. I loved your details and all the nuances you liked in my piece and were so conscious of too:) You are one of my most cherished commentators.. I always unwrap a new comment like a special gift..they mean that much to me. And the ending…:) “Must I say I absolutely loved it. 🙂” Just how I feel about these words you left for me too my friend 🙏❤️🤗🌹

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      • Sundaram Chauhan's avatar Sundaram Chauhan says:
        May 18, 2023 at 9:32 pm

        I’m so happy that my comments make you feel that way, Karima… they just flow out of me when I’m blown over by your creations. And you’re such an amazing poet. I’m fortunate to be associated with you in any way. You’re the only poet I read. And I know my comments must get influenced by your own rhythm and music, and that’s why they come out (according to you) so good.

        And I forgot to mention one thing. The way you say, “Whaaat…” I just love it… 🙂 It’s so adorable.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Karima Hoisan's avatar Karima Hoisan says:
    May 19, 2023 at 6:09 pm

    You made me wide-smile when you said, ” You’re the only poet I read. ” Such an honor you have bestowed upon me, dear Sundaram. Yes your comments flow out so easily just as your words do in your wonderful stories. Oh yes the Whaaaaat? In some readings I even exaggerated it more…because I do know that “Whaaaaat?” moment in my life:) and really it probably lasts even longer in my head. Thank you again for all that you said here, Sundaram, my beautiful friend.

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