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Dry-eyed
When I lost you, I couldn’t cry.
Something very abnormal it seemed to me
the loss of you was like an iconic moment
to shed tear after tear..
and yet not one appeared.
Dry eyed, not a hint of glisten.
while I felt I would die inside.
I kept thinking maybe the perfect music,
memory, rain storm, would be the trigger
but my search was in vain,
not even your pictures, or hearing your name.
I worried a bit,
that I would make myself sicker
Everything I knew kept repeating,
if you don’t cry now
It will hit you like a head-on
next month…next year.
Like a speeding freight train
meeting me on the tracks,
standing there all dry-eyed
pretty sure not even death
could make me cry.
I waited for that moment
when I would least expect it..
all of a sudden the fact I would never see you again
would find its place,
and I would break down wherever I stood
and the tears would wash over my cheeks
and sobs of release, that felt so good
after being pent-up a lifetime now…
would shake my foundation.
Instead I realized not only could I never cry
over the loss of you,
I stopped crying all together.
Your death was so inconceivable
I stopped rotating with the planet.
I lived a lifetime and I never did cry
over you..I just never cried again,
over anything.
It was still a good life…
just dry-eyed, forevermore.
Karima Hoisan
March, 19, 2025
Costa Rica
Oof! Lovely, and hits hard. “still a good life… just dry-eyed, forevermore.” Quietly implying the utterly profound impact that loss can have. Really moving. <3
Yes, loss of a loved one can do that…we can recover, but something shifts..something is not like it was before…and we move on with life in its never ending forward roll..just not quite like we were before.
Amazing writing, Karima; profoundly relatable 👌🏻
Thank you so much David…and sorry it was relatable personally for you.
Well, it’s life
Hik il diniya
Sah! ze hik al duñia
I have bad pronunciation!
Smiles and I cheat in transliteration and use the ñ from Spanish:)
Very moving poem Karima. Some losses are such that they take away something vital from within us.
Yes they seem to put you in shock mode….and freeze you there. Thanks so much for your generous comment. Ramadan Kareem Sadje!!
Very true my dear friend. Stay blessed my friend
A wonderful poem, Karima. Bravo.
Well thank you so much AJ…it just sort of flowed out of me yesterday…and for no real reason(I could see)
Brilliant writing as always Karima xo
Thank you.
Hugs 💕
Awww thank you Maggie, you hold me to a high standard 😁 but really, glad you enjoyed it.
Big Hugs my friend
XXXX
It is my pleasure Karima , always.
Big hugs back to you xxx
What a moving poem, Karima! It reminds me of my father’s death, when I was just 12, and couldn’t understand what was happening. I remained tight- lipped, but when I regained my senses, I couldn’t control my tears flowing from the eye sockets.
We share something in common Kaushal, as I too lost my father when I was 12… I passed through that shock stage too, but was able to move past it and finally cry. Yes when pent up tears begin to flow, it’s like opening the flood gates. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment.
That period of shock is very relatable, and you’ve expressed it brilliantly.
I had something very similar a few years back, when my grandmother passed away during 2020. At the time, because of all the craziness going on during the height of the pandemic, mixed with health difficulties experienced by my parents, we weren’t really able to travel from California to Michigan. So, in some ways, it felt like the whole thing couldn’t have happened… at least until there was the livestream of her funeral. That was when the reality struck in full force.
Thank you so much Joyce for sharing your own experience. Each person is different, how long it takes for the reality to set in…I agree that distance at the time of loss can mute the first reactions.. In my poem, I took it to the extreme…but I am going through a loss at the moment, more than a year, and the tears just won’t come…Inshallah they will…eventually..It’s a catharsis I am missing…
Agreed. Grief is a deeply personal process. I’m sending you a virtual hug and condolences on your loss.
Thanks so much Joyce…this loss is not recent, and yet it’s very present in my thoughts
I know the feeling. Wishing you the best, my friend.
Profound and powerful when feelings and words are tongue tied but you gave understanding and credence to loss on the deepest level, Karima!
💓
Thank you Cindy…My memory was dragging up some old memories yesterday…and I found myself writing this poem…which honestly came as a surprise to me…Such is the subconscious..:)
I appreciate your words and thank you for sharing them 🙏💕🌹
Ah this is utterly deep and moving, Karima! I can completely relate to the words. 🩷
Thank you so much for stopping by Shreya..I’m glad you enjoyed my poem and appreciate so much your comment!!
My pleasure 💞
I love when that happens and it was so good!! Welcome always!🌺🌹❤️
Oh me too just love it..it’s when you realize you’re not in control…the muse ir haha!! Hugs Cindy!!!🤗
for me, the deepest & most intimate losses are of my soulmate cat, & my last & best husband. i have lived with these events for some years now, & mostly they bring a smile to my face now. they both were such good companions to me; all was so free & easy & just blessed, for many years. i smile for that blessing, for it was rare & precious & continues blessing me. the relationships changed, but they did not end when the bodies could no longer sustain the life. they continue deep within me.🙏🏼
In the case of my beloved cat it took a while (dry-eyed) but in shock to finally see his entrance in my life, for a limited 3 years to be a gift…a blessing, with no promises it would be forever attached…and instead of crying, I am now feeling very grateful..It has not hit me like a “head-on” I don’t think it ever will.. Thank you soulkin for sharing your experiences with loss…I truly can see now how those we loved do continue on..within us. Beautiful!! 🙏❤️🤗
What a reckoning and an emotional bout. One can depend on him or herself as the best convincer. As for me, now I don’t have to go to a psych. 😳
It’s true…in the end we work through it, past or…or we get stuck..getting stuck is the hardest path….although it goes nowhere.
Good but Whew!😓
What a lovely avatar.
Thank you Jacqui..This avatar is based on my 18 year old look (a long time ago:) and I am glad you like her:) Thanks so much for commenting!
I couldn’t cry after my mother died. For one thing, she died unexpectedly, so it came as a shock. Secondly, she was in a lot of pain and miserable, so I couldn’t feel bad for her. It took me five years to finally break down and cry.
Oh Dawn, I totally understand this…I think maybe the shock of a sudden unexpected death can just dry them up (tears). As you say in your mother’s case, she was suffering so death was a kindnessfor her. Thank you for sharing your experience…
Ooh man, it was so hard hitting–were the first words that came to my mind after reading the last line, but then I noticed Dale’s comment below, and the same reaction. And I still wrote it. Because that’s what I felt. That’s what everyone must have felt. Extremely moving words, Karima. You couldn’t have expressed your grief any better.
Thank you my friend..I’m not sure if you have experienced this type of grief in your life, but it came as a surprise to me in mine…When you reach my age, normally we have lost a few very significant beloved people in our lives and I was able to rise above those losses with time. But sometime we lose someone so unexpectedly that it is hard to recover. and we actually are not the same as before. Thank you for seeing and feeling that message in my poem.