I’ve loved and lost
and only pain can take me to those remote realms,
where I almost feel giddy as if I were about to fall
right out of the sky…
and it’s too hard for me to grab onto the words
because I’m still falling…weeks have passed and I’m still going down.
I miss you…everything you were to me..is no longer there.
Hours of my life…once filled by you and all your needs
have left me staring out a window…. just remembering.
People tell me to only land on the good imagery, your photos, our happy reveries.
I can’t help myself if I loop obsessed; the last night I saw you, will forever haunt me.
Loss is loss; who can measure, the breadth, the width, the degree?
Would anyone have the right to tell me, I should no longer grieve?
I still find it comforting, that the tears are being released,
because, many suns and moons are cycling, with you, so completely gone.
How can something so alive, just disappear from reality?
How can those sparkling eyes go out? How can they no longer be?
I know it was not your intention; you were just being yourself, curious and carefree,
but when you jumped out that open window at the end,
you inadvertently shattered me.
March 28, 2017
I invite you to listen to a live reading of this poem to the music that inspired it. Enjoy! Loved and Lost Live
How profoundly sad. Your feelings are quite clear. Sometimes the only thing left…is honesty. All I can say is that we all cry with you.
Thank you so much Tube, Loss is loss…I haven’t really allowed myself to grieve since that night… until tonight. Thank you for understanding. Hugss Tube!
PS. This was the music that primed the catharsis: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/6832079/Emerald%20%28Kyodai%20Mahjongg%202006%20OST%29.mp3
Wow! That music is really haunting. Very meditational. I can see how it could turn ’round thoughts and emotions. Obviously it pushed some deep buttons. I am sorry you had to go thru all that. I really hope you have someone for support there. Thank you for sharing with all of us. That goes to trust and a willingness to let us inside where you reside. A very tender, personal place. Please take care ! 🙂
Yes Ron, isn’t it? There is something so alien and yet so very human..like it was born in a crack between worlds…but it was just what I needed. I played it over and over and over, until it primed the pump and the poem came gushing out:) My unconscious attempt at alchemy;changing instrumental music into poetry:)
Dear Karima, I am not sure I can say anything or that I should say anything. Love brings loss. We’re vulnerable that way. But even so I feel it’s the greatest gift to be able to love and be loved. Hugss!
Thank you Joey for this comment and your thoughts. I agree with you 100%! It’s always worth the losing, if you have loved. Hugss!
So heartfelt and so sad… and so universal, although every loss is different; every loss is also the same. Thanks for sharing this…
Thank you Dale…when we lose something or someone we truly loved..the words are not there at the moment…sometimes, it takes time.
Oh my Karima, it took me many attempts to begin to comment.
First of all I am really glad that you found the words to describe the sorrow and pain, cause I think it will help.
A loss and most of all a sudden loss is as if time stands still, the world doesnt turn anymore and reality becomes blurries and the universe would collapse, for the longest second in our lifes.
We are all human beings and the very last thing we want to go through is the loss of someone we love. And everyone has its own way to handle it and it always takes time..
BIG HUGS Karima
Aww Nat, what a beautiful and heartfelt comment. I agree with you, with everything you say…and this process does take time. The time schedule is also different for everyone, and there is no way to rush it…it comes when it comes. Thank you Nat, for all your solidarity and support through out this last month. Big hugs and much appreciation too, for your comment.
Hugs, dear Kari. I feel this loss through your eyes and words, and am holding you close in my heart and thoughts, sending you warmth and love with each day’s passing~
Thank you Luna…like Nat says above, sudden losses are not easy to assimilate, be it a loved one, or a cherished pet. It seemed to take a long time for the words to come, but I am so grateful they did, and I feel at peace to move on. Hugss!
Ahhh…. Karima….. when you love you you really go profound places in your heart! And with this brilliant poem you bless this one you have loved and lost. I was in tears as i read this… so beautiful the love, and exquisite in the expression of your grief. you touch a place in me rarely touched. you are such a Gift to all those know you, follow you, love you, are inspired by you, your Words that awaken deep Magic, the sound of your voice when you read your works of art, with the perfect music, ( often your original creation! you do that too!)….and visual treats sometimes….. you are my Hero in many ways. thank you, you are a fountain of creative exhuberance!
Oh my forever friend, I think you are making me blush with so many compliments…You know me , perhaps better than anyone, in that area…I somewhere am still questioning, if I can really write poetry and call myself a poet. I am moved that it could touch you too so deeply, and you do know the shock this was for me, and how I struggled to just find the words, that would help bring me peace. If I am your hero…well you are mine too…a lifetime of knowing you, and being inspired by you and your ethereal Art. Big hugs. I cherish this comment..so glad you remembered your password..I have missed your wise and deep feedback!!
AAhhhhhhh Ruca! I feel so bad for you! When you told me of your loss I was in shock. Words such as these hit the mark. As I’ve always said, you write for everyone. Many have these thoughts when hit by a loss such as this, but are unable to express them in the manner in which you can. This piece hits home for everyone! And as Jan so eloquently puts it. “You are a gift to all who know you.” Thank you for this!
Ruco, thank you! Your words are like a healing salve. Thank you for being one of my most loyal supporters and my best friend in SL. I feel you right by my side! Hugs
Such powerful words to commemorate such deep love… And how brave of you to revisit those painful corners of your being. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you Ana for your sweet words and welcome to my blog!
Beautiful, just beautiful. Sorry to have lost contact with you. Thought of you the other day.