April 18th

Hoisan Family Monument  LINC Island SL

Hoisan Family Monument LINC Island SL

This post was first published in 2013.

My father died on April 18th, when I was twelve years old. This is the first poem I have ever written about that, and it is more than a few decades later. Every April since, I have felt like I might write something…and then I never do. It was time.
What does this have to do with Second Life? On my sim, LINC Island, I have made a family memorial and this is what is engraved on my father’s side. Through the wonders of our virtual world, I can lay flowers on his grave, even though I am thousands of miles away from where he is buried, and this year I will also place this poem.
Please take the time to click on the .mp3 link entitled April 18th by Karima Hoisan.mp3.
I composed the music for this too. Maybe enjoy is not the right word, but I hope you can feel this one, and I am sure some might even relate.

April 18th by Karima Hoisan.mp3

You once whispered this to me,
“We will have eternity,
so dry your tears,
and while you’re waiting,

live your life my daughter,
then come and talk to me.”

So much time has run behind,
my questions I had saved to ask
are not the ones, I had that day, when I was twelve
and you were lowered down into the ground.

But then you came to me in dreams,
You said, “Don’t touch me, I’m not yet real.”
“I hover here because you are so young
and I am sorry I could not stay to see you grow.”

So some days, I feel the bleak is calling out,
I feel tired of it all, and I miss you as if you’d died last night,
and eternity seems a long way off, an endless wait
and in some ways, I’m still that little bud too fragile.

Life has showered me with wild flowers
and  sometimes bathed my hopes in hopeless rain.
 An adult, I can still see the road that brought me here,
so I write new questions, I would like to ask you on that day.

Does a girl ever grow up, if her father is not there to see?
Is she not a tree in the forest of first love’s loss, falling and no one hears her?
and history shifts to what it was not going to be
and really, as I get older, it’s getting harder for me to wait to see you.

I try not to cry, when someone stands in front of me and says your name.
I know that it’s approaching, that time, when once again I’ll be your little girl.
I want to tell you my mistakes, what made me laugh and why I was still crying.
To sit upon your lap and then, Oh Daddy!
all the time in the world is what you promised me.

Karima Hoisan
April 14th, 2013
Rest In Peace, LINC Island

This entry was posted in General Discussion, Poems, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to April 18th

  1. daleinnis says:

    So very touching…

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Jeff Flesch says:

    Wow, Karima. I am so glad that you shared this poem with us. It is beautiful. I listened, read, and was moved, as always. Have a lovely week, my friend.🙏❤️

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Msdedeng says:

    Well, no words. This is just so beautiful, Karima.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. rothpoetry says:

    So sorry for you loss! It must have been awful at such a young age to lose him. You have written a touching heartfelt poem. This was such a great line…
    Does a girl ever grow up, if her father is not there to see?

    Liked by 3 people

  5. KK says:

    So touching, Karima. I can very well relate. I had also lost my father when I was twelve. You have written beautiful lines direct from the bottom of heart. God bless you, my friend!!

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Diana says:

    This was so touching, Karima. I felt it deeply. Loss can teach us so much isn’t it? I’m sure your father would have been proud of you today. Stay blessed and loved always, Karima❤️❤️🌹🎁💫

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Hoyt says:

    Karimita Mia…..I remember this! I’m so glad I could revisit it. I like reacquainting myself with all your works. Repost any time! Thanks!

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Karima, this is very moving, touching, sad, beautiful, wistful, hopeful: it has a little of everything. What a poem! And what a great loss. Sorry! And such a strong opening.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much Benjamin, for your words and also for taking the time to actually listen to the recording. It was written to be heard, and I have performed it live in virtual readings
      Yes, you feel the depth of this incident, that truly marked me for life..and put me on the road to poetry..at 12 years old…

      Like

  9. Wonderful reading. Really shows off your creative assets. The mood is set well and I feel a sense of wholeness even within this tragic incompleteness of child/father relationship. So well done.

    Liked by 1 person

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