Digital Rabbit Hole

                                            “Fish Truck” by Dale Innis on Midjourney

Click Play to Listen to My Spoken Word Version, To the Music Of Clint Mansell

The Big Fish

In my dream last week,
the scene opened upon me
frantically hosing down
a pick-up truck bed full of fish
flapping, still with life, but barely.

I was trying to get more pressure
and there was none.
Then I yelled to someone
“Help me take these fish
to their home in the lake,
You drive, I will keep hosing.”

They were skeptical,
but they were my friend
and they got in and drove
slowly towards the lake.
I ran behind, my infinite hose
in my hands, spraying just
enough water to keep them alive.
I was hopeful, I could save them all
My investment was profound,
being a Pisces, I was a fish too.

Then around a bend,
we hit a bump
The fish flew into the air
falling to one side,
into a big mud puddle,
They disappeared into
the brown murky water.
I yelled out,
“We need to save them!”
“They’re ok, they can stay there”
My friend stoically remarked.

Now I could not even see them
I dipped my hands in
but they slipped through my fingers
They must have felt ‘saved now’
but I knew it was a temporary reprieve.
In a few days this puddle would dry- up
and no longer sustain their lives.
This was not their home.
My friend yelled again,
“Leave them be. There’s a Big Fish
in the lake and it is eating them all”
They’re so much better off here.”

I sat down on the edge of the
muddy puddle, their temporary shelter
and I cried.
It’s true what my friend said,
In the lake they will most likely
be eaten by the Big Fish and die.
I woke up crying and realized
It was not just for the doomed fish.
I had lost something else so precious today….

I had lost hope.

Karima Hoisan
December 11, 2023
Costa Rica